


Different but still the same

by BlackLake (PinkSparkleSoup)



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Aaangst, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Cunnilingus, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Internal Conflict, Mutual Pining, Prostitutes, Suicidal Thoughts, Tension, Violent Sex, consent turning dub-con, he licks, hella bloody cunnilingus, somnophilic kissing, triggers i guess? what do i even tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-07-10 13:51:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6987619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkSparkleSoup/pseuds/BlackLake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In his younger years he used to dream of a family, a domestic life. A two bedroom house with a gorgeous daughter, a corgi puppy to grow alongside her, and a beautiful wife to accompany him to work every day. Seidou used to dream of living happily with someone.</p><p> </p><p>Now that dream is long dead.<br/>...or so he thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Seidou likes to think about normalcy of his life. Or at least what was once the normalcy of his life.

 

In his younger years he used to dream of a family, a domestic life. A two bedroom house with a gorgeous daughter, a corgi puppy to grow alongside her, and a beautiful wife to accompany him to work every day. Seidou used to dream of living happily with someone.

 

Now that dream is long dead.

 

But even now he still fantasises in his quieter moments.

 

* * *

 

Takizawa has routine in his life, believe it or not, between running errands for the Aogri, massacres, and binge eating, there are stages every two to three days where his mind is clear and he begins a steady track from his ‘nest’ and into the city. 

 

Hes clean, which is rare, but people still stare as he passes by, his gaunt cheeks and bony hands clearly causing worry or disgust from others. Hes still chewing his fingers, he will never stop, but to break skin would surely gain some attention.

 

His old worn t-shirt is loose, the once white fabric now a blotched yellow and cream from the many washes to took to remove bloodstains. The tracksuit pants he wore were much too big on him, it was too late after raiding his family home that he had taken some of his fathers clothes with him as well.

 

Honestly, Seidou looked more like a homeless man than the terrifying monster he truly was. 

 

As he approached the apartment complex he started to feel more anticipation, a nervousness, and a fingernail split between his teeth. _Its just like every other time_ he thinks to himself _who's going to see you, who’s going to see you, who’s going to see you?_

 

The breeze that passes isn't felt by him, but his skin trembles nonetheless, even his bones give minor quakes as if he were in a sub zero climate.

 

His perch was just ahead of him, it takes a leap over a wire fence and exactly 42 paces, followed by climbing the concrete utility pole before him. Its the perfect view…

 

_…into Akira’s apartment._

 

He can see a lot from his perch. He can see her small kitchen, the couch she often inhabits, the television is on an angle where he can watch too, the door to her bathroom. He feels lucky that she never closes her living room curtains till late. 

 

Seidou had always had an amazing imagination, his thoughts ran a million miles per hour of chance scenarios before missions, of possible encounters, theoretic deaths and survivals. And here he has time to immerse himself in his mind.

 

She's late to get home today, almost 10 at night, he watches as Akira quickly sheds her coat and kicks off her heels, a scowl of tiredness already formed on her brow. She disappears from his line of sight into her bedroom, but returns shortly after in her more _comfortable_ clothes.

 

There is no way she knows just how tempting she looks. Her bedclothes never change with the season, just the number of blankets she sleeps under, and hes grateful. The shirt she got at the graduation ceremony, he once owned one too, a powder blue with the whole class’ names printed on the back in navy ink. Hes surprised she still wears it, its so old.

Her long cream legs extend from a much too short pair of pyjama shorts, an ugly contrasting shade of mustard yellow with pictures of cat paws on the butt. They were so stupid, but so utterly _Akira_ at the same time.

 

She’s dragging a blanket behind her, he instantly knows she's going to watch movies now, and sets her coffee maker for a fresh cup. There is a twinge inside Takizawa as she neglects her refrigerator knowing she hasn't eaten since her lunch break, a growing woman needs her daily meals.

 

Seidou brings his thumb to his mouth and starts to bite.

 

He watches closely as she places her coffee mug on the low table, her shorts riding up just a small bit as she bends, he feels a trickle of saliva slide down his wrist, and she settles on the sofa with her legs tucked up beneath her. 

 

In his mind he can picture clearly how they could be together. She makes two cups of coffee after they’ve finished their takeout, not bothering to cook so late at night, and as he switches over the channels she settles herself close to him, leaning on him, her head tilting to rest against his shoulder and a hand sneaking out to hold his.

 

He is gentler in his mind, and so is she. There are no feelings of inadequacy, or lunacy, just content, blissful happiness, something he knows he will never feel again.

 

From his perch he watches the screen, she's chosen a movie, he's seen it before and doesn't think she has. “You’re not going to like it” he mumbles into the silence around him, the dog dies and he knows she's going to get upset, because he did…

 

He was right. An hour later, hes sill in the same sitting position on his post, and Akira is holding Maris Stella close to her shaking frame, she's petting her a bit too roughly and her tail flicks in annoyance but doesn't make an attempt to flee.

 

Honestly she's crying a bit harder than she needs to over a movie dog dying. The actual dog is probably alive still too so whats the point? Akira reaches out and takes a tissue to blow her nose messily, followed by another to dab tears from her eyes. Her skin is now blotchy and red around her yes and cheeks.

 

Seidou sighs an “I told you” with a choked chuckle, laughing doesn't sound the same from him anymore. His legs were starting to tire but he had no other way of sitting on his post, for a moment he thought he should turn in for the night and come back tomorrow to watch her more. 

 

That is till he watched her stand from her spot and for the first time _ever_ she decides to stand on her balcony. He feels tense, he's sure she cant see him from this distance in the dark but knowing they were only a few metres away from each other, he felt he could easily reach out and touch her.

 

The cool night air doesn't seem to be affecting her either, but she's still sniffling, her lithe fingers wiping stray tears off warm cheeks. Akira’s breathing is a bit shaky, he can hear her now without the sliding door separating them and he its then that he realises she isn't crying just because of the movie, she's crying because she's truly sad.

 

For what reason, he does not know, but he vaguely remembers his younger sister crying long after a movie had finished because the sad movie made her cry, and her crying made her think of how upset she was over the recent loss of a friend.

 

_dont cry_ He wanted to coo, wanted to reach his hand out and gently wipe away her tears with hand that would one day be a pigment above corpse white. He wanted to press his dead chapped lips against hers and feel life bleed back through him. Seidou wanted to comfort, and to be comforted.

 

Akira leans herself against the railing with a sigh, she's mumbling something a bit too distant for him to register, but he can vaguely make out the shape of her mouth.

 

_A - M - O - N_

 

oh… Yes, of course. She's mourning the loss of her …friend? her _lover?_ He never tried to figure out what those two were because it only filled him with bitterness in the years prior. And now it was contempt, considering what Amon has now become.

 

She lets out one more loud sniff, and now wipes her nose with the back of her hand. He can see a gleam against her skin from the light of her home and doesn't consider even once that it was disgusting. What he does think is disgusting is that she hasn't once let a whisper of his name pass her lips since he began watching her.

 

He wanted her to acknowledge him. He wanted her to think of him and feel the same crumpling pressure in her chest as she probably does for Amon.

 

he feels _ignored_.

 

But he just knows the moment she sees him, the moment their eyes connect, he can never come back and do this again. He will lose the one _normal_ feeling thing left in his life. He decides his selfishness isn't worth it, a fleeting moment of contact had no reasoning compared to one of few things that let him stabilise.

 

There is a gust of wind, like a blessing, sending a chill through Akira’s skin and making her turn to go back inside. _she's not impervious to everything_ Seidou thinks _too much skin, of course she's cold, so so much skin, like cream and honey._

 

As she retreats he cant help but to notice a key action the _always_ does once she's inside. Why she's forgotten tonight is beyond him but he watches closely as her hands neglect the latch lock to the sliding door.

 

_That is so dangerous, what if someone breaks in? what if a ghoul gets inside your house while you sleep?_

 

Seidou’s heart rate is higher than normal now, hes _excited._ The anticipation making the hairs stand at the back of his neck. He pushes a finger further into his mouth and the skin gives way easily, the taste of rust and mud fills his mouth, so familiar, the bitter rot of ghoul blood.

 

but it fuels him.

 

Seidou feels a tightening in his stomach.

 

* * *

 

Her lights go out at exactly 11:45 every night hes been there, she reads for the last 45 minutes in the yellow glow of her bedside lamp after taking a set of pills. Her life is full of meticulous routine that makes him feel that bubbling resentment he remembers so vividly.

 

At midnight she's fast asleep, the pills work fast and hold her under in the deepest, dreamless black abyss, which in his opinion was good given his current idea.

 

The leap from the Utility pole to the balcony was easy, using a kagune appendage for extra leverage, and he landed with a dull thud on the tiles. Seidou kicked off his shoes at the door and tried his hardest to slide open the door with as little noise as possible, slowly.

 

Before even setting foot in the living room he was greeted by an onslaught of beautiful smells and sensations, sweet fruit and fresh brewed coffee, flowers and soaps, the whole building smelled so _clean_ it felt almost foreign to him. 

 

He looks at the sofa. There isn't a time he can remember in the past..year, that he has sat on something comfortable with upholstery, Always wooden chairs and chunks of cement. His hands brush the fabric, its stiff, but the creases Akira had left were still present as well as a lingering scent of what he can only think of as _vanilla._

 

Seidou is hesitant to touch it, he doesn't know if it will be cold, or warm, or static, but when he grazes the crease he feels nothing. Its just a sofa. It might have once held warmth, Akira, but time had taken that away. He sits where she did. Its so comfortable and he can now see the full expanse of her television, the screen blacked out with a single red light on the bottom left of the screen. 

 

In it he sees his reflection. He looks…so washed out. Seidou doesn't like to look at himself now that hes changed, his hair is dead and lifeless, his cheeks caved and bags so heavy beneath his eyes it looked like smudged ink. He is so… ugly now. so dead. The man looking back at him isn't Seidou Takizawa.

 

Akira’s coffee mug sits on the low table, a small pool of a rich black liquid sits in the bottom now chilled. A bony hand reaches out and drags a black tipped finger along the lip of the mug, He considers for a moment, his fingers dragging across her lips instead, plump and red like glazed cherries. He remembers watching them part and press against the pristine white ceramic with every sip she took and that tight feeling in his joints when he noticed her tongue met the mug before anything else.

 

He wonders if she kisses in a similar fashion.

 

Timid fingers grabbed the handle of the mug, it make a scraping noise against the wood before he lifted it away. At first Seidou sniffed it, wether he was just smelling the coffee or the remains of her lips, he doesn't know, but as he expected her drink was straight black coffee, no sugar, no cream. She wasn't into the sweet things after all.

 

He finds it ironic.

 

He presses the mug to his lips now, the cool white contrasting against his blackened chapped mouth, but it felt soothing. Seidou never tips the mug, coffee never settled well in his stomach in the end, and he was saving space for his later meal.

 

There is a rustling of sheets from the next room, his head snaps towards the source as if jumping out of a trance. _She is right next to me_ Takizawa thinks, _So close, I can smell her… i can hear her breath…_

 

The possibilities running through his head of what he can do, how she could react, It makes his stomach tighten. The coffee mug is abandoned almost as soon as it was picked up, making not a sound when placed on the wood.

 

Seidou wanted, no, _needed_ to get close to her. Their face to face encounter was… unpleasant at most in the beginning. He was rabid, bloody, he was having fun, but that was a bad seidou. That was the one to be feared. He wants to have at least one nice interaction before one of them dies.

 

He barely avoided stubbing his toe on her coffee table as he made his way from the sofa to her bedroom door. He felt he should knock, that wouldn't be wise though. and he can't help himself but to feel like he was invading her privacy by entering her room without permission. but he _needed this._

 

Inside her room he was flooded by a scent that was just so _Pure_ it made his head spin. The light ‘vanilla’ smell, and something heavier, thick like honey and just as sweet that made ‘something’ inside him quiver.

 

She sleeps peacefully, a beautiful figure draped in baby pink sheets, he hears his heart beating in his ears when that ‘something’ gives a lurch. Her lips are parted slightly, breaths shallow, he struggled to keep his eyes off her chest with its rise and fall, and to look there lead to getting distracted by the exposed flesh of her belly.

 

Her body is thin and toned like he had always dreamed of it being, hes salivating from a hunger he has only felt for her and a nervous tongue darted out to dab at his parched lips. Takizawa clenches his hands and releases them a few times, hes surveying the surroundings, building up and breaking down possible scenarios in those few minutes. 

 

Worst case scenario, she wakes now, they fight, one of them, or both of them, die. Best case scenario, she wakes now, they kiss, Seidou is un-ghouled, and they live happily ever after. Of course, the latter is merely wishful thinking. 

 

He is tempted though, pulled as if by some unseen force, and gravitating towards her sleeping form. Those delicate features at peace, no scowl of concentration or upturned lips, just soft lashes kissing her sharp cheeks. He could stare at her for hours like this, till the sun rises.

 

Truly, he would, but this gravity, the tugging, is stronger than him. A hand is placed on the mattress beside the juncture of her neck and shoulder, the other coming out to caress the side of her face and tilt her to _look at him._ He sees himself as a gentle lover in the morning, a soft peck to wake his sleeping beauty, or at least its something like that, because those thoughts are quickly trashed when the warm fuzz starts to take over.

 

He leans in, her breath smells like coffee and somehow he considers the scent better from her than it did straight from the mug. Akira’s parted lips made it easy for him to close their mouths together and his mind exploded in bliss. She wont reciprocate, but he is okay with that, because her sweet strawberry pink lips taste every bit as saccharine and otherworldly as he had anticipated. 

 

Its _her_ taste, and he is already addicted.

 

Greedily Seidou parts for a spare breath and pushes down again, this time taking Akira’s bottom lip between his own and giving a gentle suck, and graze of teeth. He desperately wanted to break her skin and let that syrup fill his mouth. She sighs beneath him and he groans in response, shakily, and the hand cupping her face slides down to hold his fingers against her throat, thumb poised over a pulse point.

 

Seidou pulls back to drag his tongue along the woman lips, hes so tempted to push his tongue into her mouth but his restraint was enough for now. Only after three more kisses did they part with a wet smack and seidou breaking a string of saliva with a quick dab. He is breathing heavy, eyes lidded, and mind swimming with nothingness.

 

Akira gasped.

 

Seidou followed in kind.

 

Their eyes met and both displayed the same emotion. Fear.

 

 

A violent lurch had the two separated, Seidou wrenching himself away and backing himself into her wardrobe, Akira pulling herself to the other side of her bed and arm ducking beneath her mattress to retrieve an aluminium briefcase. Seidou only makes a move to block when a blade slices in his direction, his arm easily taking the half-hearted blow from the tired investigator.

 

His skin was cut deep into the muscle but it healed itself fast. Their eyes met again, hers now glaring in disbelief and rage, they were watery now too. 

 

“Takizawa?” she asks, voice quiet in fear this were some trick of the mind.

 

He stays silent, lips pursed and legs tingling with the urge to run. If he's quick he can get out the door and off the balcony without having to hurt her, but he cant bring himself to move, like a deer caught in headlights, they stood in place holding unwavering eye contact. 

 

“Takizawa answer me!” Akira speaks again, her voice now raised.

 

He lets out a shuddered breath as he feels a wire snap inside him, he doesn't know what to say. _Sorry i kissed you, I have been bottling confusing feelings about you since we were in the academy together_? _I eat people now and Amon does too, I’m sorry things have gone like this, I miss what we were, even if I think I hated you. I miss Houji, I miss arguing with you, I miss human food, I killed my mom and dad! I ate my mother, I can eat you! you need to run._

 

_RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUN_

 

Seidou jerked abruptly, Akira held her quinque up to defend, _you expect the worst from me now dont you?._ He draws out a wing, thick, but not sharp, and with what strength he could muster he slammed her off the bed and against the adjacent wall. 

 

“IM SORRY!” he barked out, panicked, using the time between her recovery and next attack to dash out of her bedroom, throw her door off its hinge and jump off the balcony.

 

As he ran through the grass, not daring to look back, he heard Akira shouting his name.

 

She sounded so, so sad.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> release some steam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A warning.  
> Seidou's thought process in this chapter is quite misogynistic and demeans sex workers. I do not condone what happens in this chapter. i just wrote it.
> 
> I will be adding a star mark at the beginning of the sexual scene and at the end of it for those who do not wish to read such content.

Akira struggled to sleep following that night,. 

 

The first day back at the CCG she was hollow, distant, barely responding to questions and prompts from her work colleagues. Many voiced their concern, Haise and his ‘children’, Suzuya, even Arima, each of them asked her if ‘ _shes doing okay?_ ’ but really, how was she supposed to answer?

 

Would she really say “Last night I woke up being kissed by my ex-coworker who we all thought were dead. My ex-coworker who is now a ghoul”?

 

Honestly, she was shaken.

 

The woman sat at her office desk holding her fourth cup of coffee in her shanking hands, the shadows under her eyes clearly explained a sleepless night.

 

“Have you talked to someone about this?” asks Arima, he leans against her desk, barely at thigh level on him. She shakes her head in response, the most anyone knows is she had a rough night and a large bruise on her shoulder, spectators have assumed she fought a ghoul and technically, yes she did, but the emotional impact was extreme. 

 

Akira sighs “I don’t need to talk about it” before downing the cold remains of her drink.

 

“I’m just worried, you’ve never been like this after a ghoul encounter”

 

Hes right and she knows it, she wants to deny it but Arima is no man to lie to. For a moment she considers telling her story, but what good would that bring her? Investigators rummaging though her house for evidence, invading her privacy, the slim possibility of Seidou getting caught.

 

No, its not worth it.

 

Mado goes home early that day, though not of her own volition.

 

The inside of her home feels chilled and uncomfortable, the coffee mug still sits on the table from last night and her balcony door resting off its hinge against the opposing wall. She didn't know if she wanted to stay in this house, but she really had nowhere else to go.

 

Akira walked out onto the tiles of her balcony, there wasn't a piece of evidence seidou was there other than the de-railed glass door but his lingering presence left an uneasy buzz in her chest, an anticipation as if he would be just behind her bedroom door waiting to attack.

 

She decided to cover the open door with a curtain in the hopes it would stop a draft, and any prying eyes. Not that she expected anyone to be watching her, but there couldn't be any other way for Seidou to have entered the building. She doesn't even remember telling him where she lived, even before he was a ghoul.

 

Akira checked the clock in her kitchen, 4:32pm, She couldn't think of a thing to do between this time and when she would head to sleep. With a sigh she walked back to her couch and turned on the television. She selected something pointless, a boring reality show that she really doesn't care about. 

 

Anything to keep her mind off what had happened/

 

… It was going to be a long night.

 

* * *

 

There was a point in his life where Seidou recognised his hunger will never be quelled. Somewhere between immense fear and his echoing screams reverberating off the pitch black walls of an unknown cell.

 

This hunger was piercing, it started as a chip, low rumbles in his belly, till some evil _evil_ woman pressured that chip into a vast weblike crack that spread through his body in veins.

 

There was always that one trigger. 

 

_Akira._

 

Just hours after facing her Seidou struggled to push down the itching, his lips tingled with her aftertaste and he found himself constantly running his tongue over them. He needed… _Something._ He needed meat, he needed a touch, he needed release.

 

The walk back to the main Aogiri base was a struggle, every person he passed, their looks and whispers, he felt his restraint lessening and the desire to tear out throats with his teeth grew. His breathing was shaky, and eyes blinking constantly, he knew in this state if his kakugan became visible he would have more trouble than he needed.

 

_“Is he okay? he looks sick..”_

_“dont talk to him sweetie just keep walking”_

_“that man is just skin and bones..”_

_“..probably hasn't had a hit in a while, freak”_

 

Being able to hear well surely has its disadvantages, these people looked at him like he were outcast _‘who am I kidding, I am an outcast, a freak, a monster, a monster, a monster who eats people’_ It just made him more agitated.

 

Seidou is starting to enter the worse parts of the city now, darker and less clean, more people were starting to look as gaunt and disturbed as he himself did, he even smelled the odd ghoul nearby. He thinks he’d hate to live somewhere like this, his current home is worse, but given the opportunity he _knows_ where he wants to live.

 

A cosy little apartment.

 

with _her._

 

Seidou brought a hand up to his mouth and slotted a finger between the sides of his teeth and his cheek, somehow now his skin tasted metallic, he hadn't even bit through skin yet. This calmed him though, as it always had, and he felt his breathing slow down considerably.

 

The further he walked this street the more he started to notice the presence of light, and colour, so bright and vivid it would sting his eyes to look up for too long. It was disgusting, this place was better to cross during daylight hours, less noise, less people, he knows the kind that are inhabiting this place.

 

Filth.

 

But he was no better. Walking in place outside buildings, neon lights making his skin glow in its paleness and accentuated his sickly appearance, this was no place for him. There were women loitering outside night clubs, smelling of cigarettes, chemicals, and sex, prostitutes. It was obvious with what they wore, barely there skirts and high heeled shoes, shirts that exposed their cleavage and much more.

 

There was so much exposed skin, like the length of Akiras soft long legs in those short sleeping bottoms. These women couldn't compare to that tempting beauty, their starved bodies, stomachs sunk in deep enough to show hipbones and ribs, unlike Akira’s supple belly with its visible lines of muscle. The women’s breasts, artificially augmented, completely shameful compared to Akira’s modest, smaller bust.

 

He was disgusted by them. But there was a burning in his gut that stayed even hours after feeling her lips against his own, he seemed to be in the right area for such animalistic needs. It wouldn't hurt to indulge. Seidou considered them with a sneer. There were some who seem to have more experience than the others, some stopping men on their paths with a flirty smile and a hand hooked on their arm, “Lovely night out isn't it?” they ask as if they cared.

 

But there was one, She looked so much like the others, _so fake, not real, artificial sweetness like those packets Houji put in his coffee. She will do._ he thinks. She has short cut blonde hair, a shade too dark for Akira but _she will do,_ A scandalous outfit he’d never want to see on his woman _but she will do,_ He approaches and they lock eyes, there is a twitch in hers that conveyed reluctance and her lips pursed, but she forced a fake smile because a client was a client no matter how unsightly.

 

“Lovely night out isn't it?” she asks, she doesn't care and neither does he. 

 

“How much?” was his response. Blunt and to the point. The woman’s eyes flick to the others standing beside her and they nod back, some signal, and they disperse. Her rate is pricey, he knows he doesn't have that money, but he also knows she has no way to force money out of a ghoul.

 

“what’s your name?” she asks him, he hadn't bothered with hers. He doesn't want her to know his name because her voice is irritatingly high pitched, Immature, not the deeper womanly tone Akira’s has. He doesn't want her to speak at all. _but she will do._

 

Seidou just grunts at her and she's visibly uncomfortable, but they continue on. A client is a client. She drags him around a few corners till they're in a dimly lit alleyway, she probably doesn't want to see him, and he doesn't want to look at her either. Its a mutual feeling is displeasure.

 

⭐️  ✨  ⭐️  ✨  ⭐️  ✨  ⭐️  ✨  ⭐️  ✨  ⭐️  ✨  ⭐️  ✨  ⭐️

 

“Do you want anything special or are you just going to fuck me?” she asks, her tone dropping to something more straight forward, and honestly a bit rude. He runs a shaking hand through his hair that scrapes fingers against his scalp, she smells in _that way_ , the hunger where he wants to destroy and consume, not savour. He wants to get this over with.

 

“I’m gonna fuck you, turn and face the wall, and don't talk” his throat feels like its full of chalk, dry and painful, but she complies with a huff. Her hands are braced on the tiles before them and she arches her back to push out her ass. 

 

_Shameful. Depraved._

 

At least when she's not facing him he can fantasise a bit better, and in this light he can forgive the horrible bleach job she's done to her hair. She flinches at the cold of his hands pushing her skirt up her back and pulling her panties to her knees, he breathes an irritated sigh through his nose when he sees the splatter of ink on her lower back in the shape of a butterfly.

 

All this time listening to this woman, hearing her talk, looking at her, has rendered him soft, he feels he had no point in doing this now. Seidou unties the draw chord of his tracksuit pants and frees himself, his hand wrapping around his limp member and stroking it back to hardness.

 

_Akira, Akira, Akira, her legs, her lips, her soft stomach, her tongue touching the lip of her coffee mug before she takes a sip. Her sigh when I kissed her in her sleep._

 

It was working. Seidou felt himself twitch in his hand, already engorged with blood and eager for release. He positions himself against the woman’s entrance and feels her wetness coat the tip, she releases a strange breathing he sighs.

 

“what?” he asks in exasperation.

 

“Youre not wearing a condom” she bites back. He wants to roll his eyes.

 

“dont need one”

 

“If you give me any weird diseases my handler is coming after you”

 

_you wont get to him in time anyway._ He's tempted to say. But instead breathes a tired “yeah, whatever” before pushing inside. The sound the woman made was irritating, like a whimper with more noise in it than necessary like you would hear in bad modern pornorgraphy. He hopes she wont make it again.

 

Seidou withdraws and places both hands on her hips, they felt so so small in his hands, so fragile, her hunger made her weak and he could easily sink his fingers into that paper thin flesh. He begins a steady rhythm, bottoming out every time and the slap of their skin echoed off the walls of the alley.

 

He watches the blonde hair bounce and fan out with every thrust delivered, If this _were A_ kira she would face him, a position like this is less intimate, more dominating. Were he still the man he used to be this is how he’d see himself fucking her.

 

He’d be shameless, rough, because he hated her, ‘ _but i do hate her, so selfish, doesn't understand how good her life is now that Im gone’_ Seidous teeth gnawed against his cheeks ‘ _she doesn't miss me, she never cared for me, never helped me, she’d gloat and hold her superiority in my face’_

 

There was a whine of pain from the woman before him, she cursed him under her breath and he heard each word, specifically _freak._ Not that he cares for her, an outlet, he would thrust as hard as he wanted.

 

Seidou feels he should have corrected her from her first outburst, because now she's letting out little squeaks and annoying moans, ugly noises that barely sounded pleasurable, even choking out swears as if she was completely enjoying this.

 

He growled low in his throat as a warning and gave a particularly rough thrust, the woman’s forehead collided with the brick wall in front of her and she cried out before dissolving into a chorus of moans again. Seidou growled again, and again, and again, teeth clenching tighter like his grip on her hips.

 

_Shut up!_ he wanted to bark, _Shut your filthy mouth!_

 

But she kept making her sighs, kept pushing herself back onto him and trying to control his pace with her. He didn't like this. _I hate when she's in control, i hate her i hate her i hate you Akira! i HATE YOU._

 

Without hesitation his hand reached out, groping up her torso, she shrieked with feigned excitement, he needed to shut that unclean mouth and he needed to do it now. His bone thin hands passed up the tight skin of her neck and cupped below her jaw, she cooed about ‘choking her lightly’ and it disgusted him.

 

Seidou’s fingers dove into her mouth easily, feeling her slick tongue move below his fingers, _now that is thrilling_. He had shut his temporary _Akira_ up, sure, and she was submitting like he’d dreamed of for years in his academy days. Now the role was being played properly.

 

“I Hate you” he muttered down to her. She couldn't make a response around the digits stretching her cheeks other than a mute sob.

 

“I _hate_ you, Akira…” Seidou now bends over her back, breathing the words against her spine and feeling a tightness around him when she shivers.

 

“I hate what you make me feel” _you're getting so tight._

 

“I hate how you smell” _like honey, like honey, sweet._

 

“I hate your soft skin” _you taste so good._

 

“I hate your fucking achievements” _Associate special class my ass._

 

“I hate that you didn't chase me” _but when…_

 

“I hate you! i hate you! i fucking hate you! I hate how you dont love me!” _why wont you love me?_

 

_Love me! Love me! Love me! Love me! Love me please!_

 

Seidou is crying, he cant remember when it started, he doesn't think it matters, because with crying comes screaming, and with screaming comes rage. Yes, he's angry, and hes hungry, and hes tired, and hes so pent up. But no matter how fast hes thrusting or how hard, he feels himself staying in that subtle area of pleasure that leads to a dead end. 

 

A wet tongue slips out of his mouth and drags against the notches of the woman spine. Her skin tainted with the sweetness of bodybutter and he gags, and sobs, _filthy_. He has to end this soon, one way or another, he will find release.

 

If he cant come, he can feast.

 

“I love you Akira…my aki…” His tongue moves up, it tastes disgusting, like licking perfume, and left a burning feeling on his tongue. He stopped when he met fabric that couldn't be pushed up any further, He passed that and brought him mouth to the back of her neck.

 

She sighed around his fingers and he felt his lips twitch in a grimace _just shut the fuck up_. With his hips still shifting, a distraction he tells himself, his mouth widens and bares his teeth. Hes trained himself to almost dislocate his jaw and he has easy access to bite deeply into the nape of her neck.

 

She screams as loud as she can, but its muffled by his fingers, she thrashes, sobs, and screams more.He can feel all of her squirming and muscles tightening around his member and _aaah there it is, thats fucking good._

 

As Seidou let the blood fill his mouth he felt the hunger sink deeper, his left eye felt just a little tighter.

 

* * *

 

⭐️  ✨  ⭐️  ✨  ⭐️  ✨  ⭐️  ✨  ⭐️  ✨  ⭐️  ✨  ⭐️  ✨  ⭐️

 

The news report the following morning was nothing new to Akira. A little different, but nothing new. _Remains found in ______ alley in the 4th Ward, Identified as a female sex worker, no traceable body fluids other than her own, suspected ghoul attack._

 

The poor girl had been…destroyed, minced, scrambled, The kind of thing you could only really find from a truly deranged ghoul.

 

Her phone vibrated on the coffee table beside her, Arima’s number, flashing below a blank icon. Reluctantly she answered it.

 

“Hello, this is Mado Akira.”

 

“Good morning Akira”

 

“Is there something you need Arima?”

 

“No. I am checking on you, and want to suggest another day off”

 

“You dont really have authority to keep me from my job”

 

There was a muffled sound in the background of the phone, it sounded like Haise and someone else bickering with Arima. Oh it was Ui, no one else would throw curse words like that.

 

“Our colleagues think it would be best if you just took a break, You have been working non-stop since your promotion-” Haise suddenly butt in “ she didn't even go on vacation last year”

 

So it was agreed in the end, though Akira wasn't fond of it, spending a few days relaxing at home might improve her mood slightly. 

or so she had Hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boy that took me a while to write. im getting lazy like i always do. Im a bit sorry.  
> only a little bit.
> 
> If you do find anything that i have written offensive im sorry.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> T-T-TEACH ME HOW TO DOUGIE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My life is a fucking mess but hey at least im still writing a bit.   
> sorry about how late i am with this. My work life is choking the life out of me OTL

Days off from work are supposed to be for rest and relaxation.

 

Days off from work are supposed to be stress free

 

But surely Akira could have found some way to make things stressful. She forced Haise to send her all her unfinished documents as well as new cases to start on so she was up to date when she comes back. 

 

This entirely defeats the purpose of ‘taking a break’.

 

Akira just really knew she needed something to distract her. Its only been two days since Seidou ‘dropped by’ and she still feels like hes here, she still feels his eyes on her, even with her curtain covering the glass doors to the balcony.

 

It was unsettling. Tense.

 

She wouldn't deny she wanted to see Seidou again, but to think of just what _seeing him again_ involved had her a bit concerned, she still had a bruised shoulder from when he hit her into the wall but cant seem to shake the memory of waking up.

 

When she thinks about it there was someting so calm about waking up to him, Seidou was gentle with his lips pressed against hers, he wasn't trying to rip her skin off, he wasn't raving mad like the last time she saw him.

 

Akira remembers the feeling first, soft and light, tentative, she couldn't register that it was a kiss at the time, but the second time his lips met her she was aware of the wet pressure, and of teeth nibbling into the soft flesh. It was only after her eyes fluttered open that she watched pale skin and more pale hair, and the creased brow of none other than Seidou Takizawa.

 

_why on earth would he want to do that with me_ she thinks, Surely Seidou didn't hold romantic feelings towards her, they had always had this playful argumentative relationship, sometimes it even seemed like he was truly agitated by her presence. But in her eyes they were friends and she _actually loved him_.

 

She loved him like a brother, a best friend, _a lover?._ Regardless. Never in her mind had she considered he’d ever kiss her.

 

And yet he had.

 

But this Seidou has done many things the original Seidou never would, Hes killed many men, eaten them, tore flesh with his bare hands and taken mortal wounds like he would a paper cut. He was just filled with more and more unpleasant surprises.

 

As the thought passes over her a gust pushes against the curtains of her door, for a moment Mado thinks _why have I not just leaned the door against the opening till its fixed?_ it was honestly the most rational thing to do with it rather than keep it open all day. Though she enjoyed the fresh air.

 

_fresh air… maybe i should go out for a while…_

 

_maybe he will come again._

 

Akira would be lying to herself if she said she didn't want to see Takizawa again. The last time left her scared, shaken, but she still misses him. Three whole years are a long time to miss a person, she’d even come to accept the death of Seidou and Amon, but after everything that has happened now its all she can think about.

 

The woman paced to her kitchen, adjusting her pyjamas as she walked, to brew herself the fourth cup of coffee today. Its almost as if she lives off it, drinking more often than even eating most days.

 

With a fresh hot mug in hand she walked out onto the balcony of her apartment, feeling the brush of late night wind against her bare legs, it made her skin tingle and pucker at the chill, but it was refreshing for her.

 

As she sat on the old chair it creaked, the metal frame not used to holding weight, and she tucked her feet up and folded her legs to make her seat a bit more comfortable. Akira had a feeling she’d be sitting there for a while, waiting, watching the night sky, hoping Seidou will show up, but also hoping he does not.

 

…And she waits for what feels like forever. Her coffee is cold, she too is cold, and every time her eyes blinked they stayed shut for just a bit longer.

 

* * *

 

When Seidou comes to his senses its already morning. His teeth are chalky and the stale iron of blood lingered on his tongue, among other unpleasant tastes. Just like any other morning really. Only right now he remembered in vivid detail the night before. _how rare._

 

_Yes I do remember, Akira and I, we made love didn't we?_

 

Just the thought made something stir in his core. He remembered watching that cute blonde hair bounce as he took her from behind, the feeling of her tongue against his fingers, the scream she let out when he bit into the back of her neck.

 

_Oh…thats not making love. So i_ ate _Akira. I cant even taste her anymore. such a waste._

 

He heard the whisper of Etos voice, just knowing what she would tell him. _now you have nothing left_ she would hiss _Your little lover girl is dead thanks to you, thats everyone gone ,Taki~ everyone who you ever gave a damn about._

 

_you destroy everything you love._

 

_everything you touch will die._

 

At that the crazed man let out a whimper, followed by a chuckle, followed by an all out laugh. It was maniacal, his ribs hurt with every heave of breath he took, the loud barks crawling up from his lungs and decimating the path like it were hot ash.

 

_Mado is dead!_

 

_I killed Akira mado! I killed her while fucking her! she submitted to ME and I CLAIMED her! kehehehe! The promising student, top of her fucking class, number one, she's dead! Dead! Dead! DEAD!_

 

_because of me._

 

_“AKIRA!”_ he shouted between laughs, he doesn't know if he's yelling because he’s sad or because he’s elated. Something like this, was it not what he’d wanted since he first knew her, to defeat her? To make her bend to him and somehow admit that he was _better than her?_

 

_no..not like this. Id never want this._

 

Takizawa screams his throat raw. His fingers claw into his scalp and the blunt, blackened nails pull chunks of flesh with them as he drags them down his face.

 

Hes hyperventilating, _just calm down._ clenching teeth so hard they almost break, _fucking calm down!_ tears burned his eyes and he wishes he could just rip them out.

 

_Akira! Akira! Akira im so sorry!_

 

_I just wanted you to love me, i just wanted you to look at me._

 

Seidou doesn't want to believe himself here. There is no way. In his eyes he is weak, there is no way he could have hurt Akira, she can overpower him somehow. 

 

He needed to check. He needed to know if he was to be punished for this. He needed to know Akira was dead.

 

* * *

 

 

Takizawa had to wait till nightfall for him to safely leave his ‘nest’, He didn't want the others questioning him, he always hunted at night so it was a good alibi. His earlier breakdown still fresh in the back of his mind, though it happened hours ago, but a distinctive goal was set. 

 

If Akira is dead, he wants something of hers, anything. 

 

He pulled his cloak over the top of his more comfortable clothes and made his way out of the large building, Its cold, it makes Seidou feel alive and clears his mind.

 

As he approaches the fence that surrounds Akira’s apartment complex he cant help but to feel dwarfed, intimidated somehow, and his breath trembles into plumes of white against the chilled air. _im nervous_ he thinks as if it were a joke. _im nervous about a dead woman._

 

He pushes his kagune beneath him and launches himself over the fence, the edge of the exposed cut wire hooking and tearing at the already tattered edges of his cloak as he did so. When he lands his eyes are cast to his feet, he doesn't want to look up at the Utility pole or the apartment building, so he watches each tentative step, exactly forty two of them, till he is facing the tall concrete pillar.

 

Two fingers crawl from his cloak to his neck, they squeeze and he can feel his breath, _Alive._ The fingers slide up the underside of his jaw and press against his lips, then further, against his teeth. They bite in and draw blood that drips down the back of his hand.

 

The pain is subtle, the blood soothing him as it washes over his tongue, and the wound is healing in a matter of seconds. _It is time to face this_ He thinks. His plumage rustles, scrapes, like plates of ceramic as they spread and bend to haul his body to the top.

 

Seidou first notices her lights are still on, She probably never turned them off after… _after what again? After i left…and then came back? no, she came after me? how did we get here._

 

The leap was simple and he landed carefully on the balcony railing, the light peaking from behind the curtains obscuring his sight to his sensitive eyes, he trips and stumbles against something that hisses and feels like a feather duster.

 

_Akiras cat…_ For a moment he thinks he could bring Maris Stella back with him, but a cat can die too cant it?

 

A hand reaches out to grab the handle of the sliding glass door but passes through and hits the curtain, Seidou almost falls, but grips the fabric and pushes it to the side to show the empty bright room.

 

_I broke her door didn't I?_

 

Light flooded the balcony and his eyes struggled to adjust, it was irritating, so much that he bit sharply into the flesh of his mouth to suppress a whine of annoyance. As he looks down at the little feline _scratch that, fat feline,_ and he cant help but to rebuke his idea of taking it with him.

 

she's one of those weird flat faced ones with lots of fur that shed.

 

“go inside you ugly thing” Seidou grunts, bumping the cats rear with his foot to encourage it into the warmth. He can smell akira, but not inside, something stronger is outside her apartment, and he remembers _oh yes i had her against a wall._

 

His eyes scanned the empty balcony and there wasn't much, a small table and chair set, a weird thing in the chair, was it a blanket? it smelled of coffee and akira.

 

_Oh!_

 

Heart felt his stomach leap into his throat with such a force he barked a laugh at the discovery. _how silly of me! how silly of me! how stupid of me! how could THE Akira Mado die? she's right here!_

 

_all that punishment for nothing._

 

He feels the inside of his wrists itch. _all that punishment._

 

_W_ ith nervous steps he approaches her and sniffs, she smells fresh, not old or rotted, He is excited. His hands reach out and gently place themselves on her exposed arms, they are cool to the touch but theres the underlying warmth of life, and the rise and fall of her chest, though subtle, is present.

 

_I didn't kill her._

 

The night came back to him in a flash, the blonde hair, _no its not the right color of blonde,_ the short skirt and ugly tattoo, the sounds she made, the moaning and the sobbing and the screaming. No that wasn't Akira at all, it was a replacement, a fantasy, and a meal.

 

The real Akira was here before him, asleep on a chair outside in the cold, but _Alive_.

 

“Mado? Mado wake up” he urges, a hand gripping her shoulder and giving a harsh shake. She just hums and curls in on herself, shivering like a fearful pup.

 

_if you cant handle it dont sleep outside you mad woman._

 

Something inside Takizawa wants him to leave her out in the cold to teach her a lesson, _isn't that what she’d do to me?_ but his insides are melted around her, he cant be cruel, so he slips his arms under her and lifts her body up against his chest.

 

He ignores the softness of her thighs in his hand, or the gentle press of her chest against his as he carries her inside the building. He ignores how light she feels now, either she had lost weight or he has just gotten so strong in the last three years. Regardless, this was an easy task for him.

 

With a less than gentle toss he let the woman’s body topple onto the mattress in her room and he can tell he winded her with that harsh breath that leaves her, and the coughing to follow. Her eyes flicker open with a multitude of blinks, and roll as the world spins around her.

 

_don’t have hypothermia, I don’t know what to do with hypothermia. you're going to die. just get warm you fuck-_

 

He internally panics when her body starts to tremble again, and notices how blue her lips are, and how pale her skin is.

 

“Stop that!” he whines, voice raising at the end with his evident stress.

 

Akira’s eyes open more and attempt to focus while he drags a blanket up over her body, at least then she will get warm and he wont have to see her body shake. As he withdraws his fingers find their way to his mouth again and gnaw, this time not only breaking skin but bones too.

 

Seidou paces into the living room as his ex coworker stirs, his fingers are quickly swallowed down to bodied stumps but its not enough to quell his nervousness. He didn't plan on any of this, he was just coming to take a jacket or a pillowcase or _something_.

 

Hes waiting for her to call to him, for something grounding, something other than the taste of his own blood. But she doesn't because she's confused and cold, and hes nowhere in her line of sight. His hand tingles with a residual _pain_ when they start to regenerate his fingers, but the blood on his palms is now distressing.

 

He doesn't want to _touch anything_ thats not his, he feels it will become tainted. If he could just wash it off he should be fine. He enters the kitchen and uses his one good hand to turn the faucet and hisses a sharp _“FUCK!”_ when the water makes contact with his raw, exposed muscle.

 

The red washes down the sink and stains the gleaming silver with his impurity, but at least he is clean, and the stinging sensation ebbs away till its numb and the formation of what will soon be fingers has sprouted with clean flesh.

 

_those came back so fast hahaheheoh no, how inuman, now disgusting._

 

There is a twitch in his neck when he clenches his teeth again and presses his tongue against the backs of them, there were chunks of meat stuck in them, his _meat_ , that should probably go too.

 

_i have to look presentable, she shouldn't see this blood what will she think? who did i eat?_

 

He cups the water in one hand and brings it to his mouth, tightening his lips because somehow even the taste of water makes him gag now. But now the blood is gone and he feels maybe a little bit better.

 

But the anxiousness is still in there, still bubbling, not knowing what to do if Akira gets sick, knowing she has a quinque under her mattress and a licence to kill him in a heartbeat. Hes been in more stressful situations before, he knows that.

 

_mother, my mother, my mother my mother my mother my mother mommy! mommy im sorry_

 

Seidou shakes his head and slams his palm against an eye socket as if to snap himself out. _Just make sure she doesn't die._ yes thats simple enough.

 

He enters Akira’s bedroom again and the woman is asleep, hands tugging the sheets closer around her but she still shakes lightly. its not easy to shake cold when its in your bones. 

 

_what was it mother (mother!) always told me about warming up? when we couldn't afford heating that one winter? yes i remember, we all shared a bed._

 

_sharing a bed with Akira…_

 

There was no other way in his mind. He inverted the cloak over his head and dropped it to the ground, kicking off his shoes, and surveyed his attire. It was sort of bed appropriate, his shirt, _is it really a shirt?_ designed to give his kagune area for use without tearing through so many changes of clothing. 

 

The lack of a back made him think he should just not wear it. So he removes that too.

 

Seidou would have never associated himself with the term ‘ _self conscious’_ but he thinks this really applies here. Looking down at his torso he is… uncomfortable. Its unsightly. its scarred, the flesh marred and paled near white. He had the muscle definition he always wanted in the academy, but is this worth it?

 

A hand drags down the expanse of his abdomen and withdraws as he snarls. _disgusting, inhuman, unclean,_ there were so many different terms he would associate with this body now. 

 

_Dont let her see how pitiful you have become_

 

Though he hesitated, he picked up his cloak again and pulled it back over his head before climbing onto the mattress beside Akira. He refused to go under the covers, _id defile her,_ but instead let his body lean as close to her as he could.

 

Her breath ghosted past his face, it was warm and sweet, and he thought of his kiss. Takizawa would do it again and again, he would steal them from her, kisses she’d promise to a husband or lover, he’d make them all his. He’d bite those very lips off her face so she could never kiss anyone else.

 

* * *

 

Seidou doesn't sleep then, just watches, eyes barely blinking as if a single movement couldn't be missed. He traces her facial features with his fingertips, gentle and exploring, and so very close. His mind is taken back to his fantasies, sitting out on that cold concrete pole, of going to sleep with her in his arms, and this is the closest he has gotten to that fantasy.

 

He drags his fingers over her plump lips and watches them bounce against a light flick of his thumb he knows he could never grow bored of such an image. 

 

_If only i could lean over just a bit more… i could taste her again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy golly i am planning angst ahead. This was sort of an 'almost filler' that i wrote to build up to other certain events. sorry if it sucked~  
> <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A more coherent encounter, but still kinda messy and confusing for them both. Theyre still teenagers at heart just let them live.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ Wow, where have i been this whole time? hahaha  
> Long story short, ive been fucking around again, moving house, didnt have internet for three weeks, relapsed twice, got hella drunk, found MLP porn in a deck of childrens playing cards, threw a tiddy ball off a hotel roof.
> 
> but hey heres my next chapter so yeeeaaaaaaa

All night he hadn't slept a wink. 

 

Seidou didn't feel like he needed to, really. Why sleep when he had Akira to watch the whole time? he simply wanted to witness every resting breath and feel it fan over his face, or the cute twitch in her lips that happened every so often as if she were dreaming of talking. 

 

He had long since stopped brushing his fingers on her skin, eventually feeling she may wake up, but he found comfort in resting his arm around her waist to hold them close. 

 

It was lovely, to be _domestic_ like this, In his fantasies they’d be this close, noses brushing and hands gripping, peeks of grins when a wandering hand causes the other to flinch. He thinks this could even be the start of that life, of the one he _deserved._

 

Seidou is the first to rise for the morning, the sun was barely starting to show above the horizon and he was sure, eventually, Akira will wake up. 

 

He had to act now before she does.

 

There was a quinque under her bed, that much he knew, and found the case resting against the wall amongst a littering of cat toys and long forgotten articles of clothing. It was heavy, not a recent issue quinque at all, and the handle had an inscription of the family name ‘ _Mado’_. 

 

_Maybe its an heirloom? her parents were investigators. how old and useless, bet it wont even activate._

 

He couldn't shake the scent of blood on it either. 

 

Next was Akira’s main quinque, she was an ‘ _asexual weapons fanatic’_ after all, so she should have another laying around somewhere. Takizawa checked her cupboards, just clothes, and boxes, _she’d have it somewhere accessible_ he thinks _always ready to kill something._

 

She had a closet near the front entrance, it was probably in there, and he confirmed it when he found two shining aluminium briefcases sitting side by side.

 

_three of them? really? always one to upstage and outdo everyone else, fucking three._

 

Though a bit bitter, he still removed them too, and decided the most reasonable place to hide them would be… somewhere high. He paced and found another closet closer to her bedroom with shelves even he struggled to reach, and he made sure to push the quinques back as far as he could.

 

_so short she's so short haha just imagine her jumping to get her quinque, just to fight me! or dragging a chair over to stand on!_

_Id have her on the ground before her fingers could touch it!!_

_pin her to the ground, choke her, bite her! bite her!_

_Mado is helpless without her quinque_

 

Seidou shook his head, there was a possibility of her trying to fight him off, but it was unlikely he’d intentionally hurt her, unless he loses control. So he got rid of that possibility, If Akira has no quinques to fight with he wont have to put in effort.

 

Things were safe now.

 

Takizawa fits a finger between his teeth as he surveys his work, the briefcases were so far back he couldn't even see them. With a content grunt he closed the door and decided to check on Akira, he was sure she’d wake soon, with the light outside gradually getting brighter.

 

She is laying in the same position as she was when she first fell asleep, only she's stubbornly thrown an arm over her eyes to shield herself from the daylight breaking through her curtains. Her digital clock on the bedside table read 7:28am in a dim red glow, for a moment Seidou remembered what it was like to wake up at a distinguishable time, to the sound of irritating beeping rather than jolting awake from nightmares.

 

As he watched her unmoving form he began to grind his teeth against the digit still in his mouth, the skin split instantly, followed by muscle, till his teeth were rubbing against the bone. Takizawa’s eyes were glued to her, and in particular, to the slim exposed skin of her wrists, and the way her _delicious_ fingers curled against her brow.

 

His hand retracted itself, sinew and flesh already knitting back together, and a bright mark of blood smeared on his lips. Seidou rolled his tongue in his mouth, and sank his blunt front teeth into his lower lip.

 

_Aaah Mado, you are tempting._

 

He is compelled to climb onto the bed again, and against his better judgment he does, leaving traces of red on Akira’s bedsheets as he looms over her. He inhales deeply and her sweet scent fills his lungs, it clouds his thoughts and makes his mouth drip.

 

_Maybe just a nibble? a snack? she wont notice if i put a band-aid on it. I could take a tiny tiny piece and surely she wont know._

 

Takizawa’s face inches closer to the sleeping woman, so close he could almost taste her. There is a feeling in his gut again that vibrates with excitement, a wet tongue peeks from behind his teeth and traces up the pronounced ligament of Akira’s wrist.

 

She flinches for a moment, but not from his touch, but the blaring alarm coming from the digital clock beside them. Akira reached out and slapped at Seidou’s head, pushing him aside to hit against the clock to silence it.

 

“Maris Stella, breakfast is later…” Akira mutters, letting her hand rest against his hair.

 

Seidou freezes in place. A thought process along the lines of _“pretend to be her cat pretend to be her cat pretend to be her cat”_ ran through his head, with eyes wide and breath halted. _‘shes gonna notice fuck fuck fuck’_

 

He slowly raised onto his hands and knees and tried to crawl backwards off her, hoping she wouldn't notice, the hand slid off his head and instantly she stiffened, then gasped, and bolted upright to stare down at him.

 

Like a fish out of water Seidou opened and closed his mouth, wanting to speak yet having no clue what to say before a firm foot kicked him off the edge of the bed. Akira was too active, too ready for a battle this early in the morning, Jumping off and instantly going to find the quinque under her bed.

 

She cursed when she found nothing and Seidou lashed out to grab hold of her arm in a tight grip, she let out a short gasp and spun on her heel with a fist aimed to his chest, and it landed with precision only because he let it. Admittedly it winded him, she was a strong woman, but he recovered quickly with his other hand cupping over her clenched fist.

 

“Why are you here!?” she spat, a restless scowl of anger and determination that she always held when fighting. Seidou worried his lip between his teeth for a moment before speaking.

 

“nee mado. Keep your voice down, you might worry your neighbours”

 

“Let go of me! let go!” Her voice pitched to a yell.

 

With a growl Seidou dropped her hand and clasped it tightly over Akira’s mouth, blackened nails pinching the skin and the flesh bulging between his fingers. He pushed her till her back hit the wall and she was pinned with ease regardless of her struggling.

 

He found excitement in this, with the way she was writhing against his imposing presence pressed against her, and that ever burning look of competition in her eyes. Takizawa clenches his teeth as he squeezes tighter, and her eyes bead with tears, just a little more of a push and he could break her jaw with ease.

 

_break her. break her. break her. break her._

 

He whines in the back of his throat, and a twitch in his face relays his thoughts when an all too happy grin pulls at his lips. Akira clasps her free hand into the fabric of his cloak and shakes him feebly, pushing, pulling, digging her nails into his shoulder, nothings working for her at all.

 

“Come on you can do better than that, i know you can! hurt me!”

 

_Yes, hurt me._

 

Akira struggles, and Seidou presses against her, leaning his upper bodyweight into her, he can feel her fevered breaths from her nose passing over his hand and against his own lips. She's _cute_ when she's mad, if you get close enough to see how her cheeks blush like rose petals, the light watering of her eyes, or how her brows shake she's frowning so hard.

 

_So delectably cute._

 

Her feet kick between them, stomping uselessly on his toes, weak kicks to his calves and her hips gyrating to push him off her. it was _so laughable. so pitiful and laughable and hilarious that mado fucking akira cant fight me off._

 

“kehehe no quinque and you're quite useless, aren't you?”

 

Akira’s response is muffled behind his hand, he feels it slicken with her saliva as her mouth struggles to move on his palm and it tickles in a way that makes him want to scratch till the tingle fades to pain.

 

“say again?” he taunts

 

The woman tries again, only this time she's less angry, her creased brows portraying a sadness instead but still determination flickers in her eyes. He loosens his grip on her mouth, the muffled sound becoming more coherent, and he relents, letting go completely and dropping his fingers to rest on her collarbone.

 

“Did.. Did you come here to kill me?”

 

_Did I? I came to kill mado? I came to kill her. I came to make sure she wasn't dead because i killed her. I killed someone, Akira, a fake Akira. Real Akira is here, close, did i come to kill her?_

 

Seidou backs away from her, words running a mile a second through his mind like rabid insects with no sense of direction. He looks confused when he claims “Maybe not”

 

For once Akira seems at a loss for words, she looks over him, her mouth opens and her breath is loud like she's grounding herself in the present and clearing her mind. Like she doesn't believe in what is happening before her eyes. Its not too long before he watches her face scrunch up in an _ugly_ but also _beautiful_ way as tears start running down her face.

 

Takizawa doesn't know what to do with a crying woman, he just stares with wide eyes while she tries her damnedest to cover her face and suppress her sobbing. In a way this was something that needed to happen, one can bottle emotions but its only so long till something forces them back out again.

 

Her face goes red when she cries, the first thing he notices, like a ripe strawberry ready to be plucked. The second thing he notices is her scent, it somehow changed, a thickness overrode the vanilla with something he can only liken to _salted caramel._ Still sickly sweet but when he thinks back on it, he never liked the contrast in taste.

 

He decided he doesn't like when Akira cries.

 

At least, not when hes this close, not when it spoils his image of her, _of the idea that Mado Akira does not feel for him._ “h-hey…stop that” he implores “stop it, I wont kill you if you shut up”

 

She makes eye contact with him for a flickering moment, and he almost sees that spark again hidden in the pools of remorse, but she crumbles to her knees, it was as if he’d kicked the stones out from beneath the tower she's built around herself and she is falling along with the debris. Its what it felt like to have her defeated before him.

 

He didn't even know if she was crying because she was scared, or because she's relieved, or because she's seeing a person she had long since abandoned the hope of ever speaking with again. 

 

Seidou growls again“Shut up”, and Akira glares at him, wipes at her eyes one last time before she makes another move. He didn't react fast enough and surely didn't see it coming when her hand tightly gripped at his ankle and tugged hard, pulling his feet out from under him and knocking him to the ground.

 

He is momentarily winded, hitting the floor with a thud, and Akira dashed past him to her living room.

 

_That fucking bitch! she's dead! she's dead! she's going to be a corpse!_

 

A loud snarling growl rumbled in Seidous throat when he stands, she's screwing with him, he should have expected this from her, Mado was more devoted to killing ghouls than she was rekindling her failed relationships after all..

 

He finds her panicking, crouched by the cupboard near her front entrance where she once hid two prepared quinques. When she sees him he hears her breathing speed up, she backs up over a shallow step and knocks her perfectly lined shoes out of place by the front door, but then theres a flash of insight in those cold eyes.

 

_she's got another fucking quinque._ He watches her bring a small but deadly knife out from the inside of a pair of tall black boots, it reflects the dim sunlight and his own grotesque expression of rage back at himself. The woman is ready to fight once more and theres not an ounce of hesitation in her movements.

 

She howls, rising to her feet and rushing towards him with the knife braced in her hands. Takizawa doesn't even think to dodge and the quinque metal is embedded in his chest to the hilt, their bodies collide and with little effort she has him pinned on the ground, he simply looks at the ceiling with empty unfeeling eyes.

 

“You are a monster! Where is the real Takizawa!?” Akira screams at him, the hand on the blade turns and he feels the metal scrape his bones when the knife goes with it, he grits his teeth against the pain. She's sitting firmly on his abdomen as if her light bodyweight will keep him in place and the very concept is laughable.

 

“Takizawa is somewhere” he retorts. _because he is, isn't he? little taki, the devoted student and investigator, the dead man. second best and waste of air. Second best. Second best._

 

“Shut up!”

 

He bites his lip and they quirk to a grin, their eyes meet and he cant help but to feel he still has the upper hand, in a way he always will, _because she's emotionally weaker than I am._ His hands move from their place on the floor and smooth up her thighs till they rest on her hips. She hisses and slaps them away in an instant.

 

“I Said shut up!” this time her voice waivers

 

“I didn't talk, Mado. I touched you”

 

Her hand slaps over his mouth now, like he did to her earlier, only her grip is so much weaker than his and he can taste her sweat on his lips. She's trying to be intimidating but its so hard with the tear marks on her face and the way her brows quiver not knowing if they should rise or lower. 

 

Akira rips the blade out of his flesh and his flinch is poorly concealed, it hurt a bit, burning like the scrapes from falling off a bike, only so much deeper. The knife is braced again and she holds it above his heart, she flatters and moves it to his neck, he cackles behind her hand when her face starts to screw up again in sadness.

 

The woman sobs. “give him back…”

 

_How do i give back myself? Am I not good enough as_ I _am?_ _im only a little broken, a few screws loose, no marbles, no soul, no brain, no brain. but more now, courage, fear, blood, immortality._

 

Theres something in him that thinks, maybe its best if Takizawa _was_ given back. Not as he was, but as he should have been three years ago. _back when I was dead._ He mumbles something behind her hand that she cant understand, that she doesn't want to understand, and she brings the knife to his face just centimetres from his eyes.

 

“I want my Takizawa back..”

 

_MY? MY? MY TAKIZAWA?? Hers? since when? since fucking when was he hers? Mado’s own Takizawa! My? mY? my?MY?mY?mmMYmYmM._ He begins to laugh, though muffled, it wracks his body in shudders and coats Akira’s hand in saliva. His body moved as though he was being tickled, hips rolling, back arching and head tossing, eyes shut tight and tears leaking at the corners. He even felt his skin tingle with a blush.

 

The hand withdraws as he settles with Akira disgustedly wiping away the wetness on her pyjama shirt. He takes whole deep breaths that fill his lungs till his giggles die down and hes simply panting and smiling like a fool.

 

“You want him back huh? You really want him?” Seidou asks. The look of surprise and relief on Akira’s almost offended him, she nodded and the blade withdrew, but still rested above his heart in a threat.

 

Takizawa bares his teeth at her, and in almost a whisper he tells her “Kill me”

 

Never before had he seen her eyes so wide, so shocked, his smile dropped instantly and the fun atmosphere he felt dissipated like smoke in the wind. She doesn't breath for a whole five seconds, he counted them, before she gasps in to fill her lungs and eyes glass over.

 

He prompts again “Kill me, Mado”

 

She just shakes her head, words lost somewhere between her brain and her tongue, she's so _lost_ right now, he can just tell from looking at her, at this rate he wont get what he wants. A hand reaches out at grips her wrist, the one holding the knife, and with a gentle pressure he presses down on her arm till the tip of the blade pierces and hits the rib bone.

 

“s-stop this.. don’t do this t-taki-”

 

“If you kill me Takizawa comes back. You get his body, thats what you want right? kill me then! kill me!”

 

“..Youre my friend” she tries to persist.

 

“Ive eaten my mother, Akira, and so many investigators. It was so much fun too, id do it over and over again. Isn't that disgusting? Its your _job_ to kill ghouls like me” 

 

Akira shakes off his hand and pulls the blade up. She holds it above her head, its held high and looms over him like a guillotine, ready to kiss his neck and bring him an unkind _justice_ of sorts. 

 

“Remember that girl from our class, with the short black hair and spoke with a lisp? what was her name again? Hana? no, anna? doesn't matter, I know you were with the recovery crew, did you see what I did?”

 

“stop”

 

“-I found out the more you hit a body into the floor the softer the meat becomes, i pulled her apart like a fresh bread roll it was so easy, and so so soft. You know when you bite into an orange and theres so much sweet juice that it pops into your mouth? its just like that”

 

“I said stop!”

 

“I used to like how long her legs were when we were in the academy so I took my time with them. kehehehe, Just like yours, Mado, Long and smooth, sexy, plump, They’ll be the fist thing of you I eat”

 

“STOP THIS”

 

Akira delivers a swift strike to his chest again, though obviously aimed away from his heart, it pushed through his ribs and tore through his lung with such a force he couldn't speak, just cough up blood that stained her academy graduation shirt. She raises and stabs him again, and again, four punctures to his chest that burned like fire.

 

His breaths are short and pained, but the small smile in his eyes was still there, taunting her, desperately urging her to _just do it._ The relief the pain brought him dulled his senses and his mind swam, he felt almost happy.

 

_She's really going to do it! Im going to die! oh god im going to die! yay! YAY! no nono im -_ ~~ _scared_ ~~ _\- so excited! finally! help me mommy! Akira! I_ ~~ _dont_ ~~ _want to die! Please!_

 

“Y-yes… keep going”

 

Akira grits her teeth and tugs at the knife again, its stuck, but with a harsh pull she breaks it free from newly formed flesh, again she holds it high, the sharp guillotine blade, patiently waiting for his final breath. The woman above him pants, her eyes are aflame and hands stained red down to her wrists, she looks so pained and scared and untrusting of his words.

 

He watches her arms swing to pierce him again but they halt mid air, Akira hisses a breath between clenched teeth and she tries again, this time the blade comes to his face and he swears he saw his miserable life flash before his eyes, and in that split second the blade stops again, and is dropped onto the carpet below him.

 

She's staring down at him, _you look so sad_ , and hes struggling to stare back up when hes sure he almost died. When he meets her eyes he becomes breathless, not due to the lung punctures, but because of just how _radiant_ her image is at this very moment.

 

The sweat, the tears, the ambiguous fluids and blood smeared from her fingers onto her cheeks when she moves her hands to wipe the tears from her face. A halo of light shines above her from the sun coming through the window, her hair looked like spun gold, and the air around her glittered as dust particles danced around in the sunlight.

 

_My angel, my goddess, have mercy on me._

 

“Please…Akira please”

 

His _angel_ collapses onto him, like her wings had given up, and she buries her face into the crook of his neck to begin sobbing for the second time today, her shaking hands finding purchase on his chest above his frantically beating heart. A wave of relief, of contentment, washes over him and he feels himself calm instantly. 

 

Akira wipes her running nose and eyes on the shoulder of his cloak, and sniffs, and with a quiet voice she confesses. “I don’t ever want to experience losing you, Seidou, never again. Once was too much heartbreak”

 

Out of everything she could have said, that was the most fulfilling to the both of them, with a begrudgingly satisfied, _for now,_ sigh, Seidou brings his arms up and places them gently on Akira’s back, soothing her with slow strokes along her spine.

 

“I promise I wont, Aki”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boop ba doop bwap bwap
> 
> You know what? its easy for me to write while listening to meme musics. Like that 'cooking by the book ft lil jon' was playing on repeat while i wrote a huge chunk of this. Be proud of me.
> 
> If anyone wants to talk more about my fic with me (which id appreciate because i like input and making friends, and also being screamed at for being mean) you can talk to me on tumblr @noheichou, or on skype @spicykaneki


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> why? why? why? why? why?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its 2 in the morning and i just finished the chapter, every time i blink it lasts like three seconds i really have to go to bed.
> 
> The recent chapter of TG really gave me something to work with here and encouraged me to finish this chapter so I hope this is acceptable! 
> 
> Rip Kanou i hope your death is dealt swiftly and as brutally as possible when your time comes you fucking c*nt.

 

When he thinks about it, this isn't the first time Akira has pinned him to the ground.

 

Sure, it was the first time she's stabbed him in the chest seven times, but the first time she hovered over him with a dominating presence crawled from the back of his mind to the forefront. 

 

He remembers embarrassment, and his cheeks burn just at the memory, a sparring match in front of their classmates, and no matter how hard he tried she always got the better of him. Even when he’d cheat, she knew exactly where to strike back.

 

Before he even knew it he was on his back, head reeling, and the distant laughter of his peers echoing around him when the weight of Mado Akira settles on his thighs and wrists. Like his body had been set aflame he felt something stir within him, discomfort, and a heat between his legs,he was just a teen but it was…

 

_humiliating._

 

But what can he say he feels now? regret, anger, _resentment_ for both Akira and himself, the hollow of emptiness that sucked open his chest cavity like a black hole wedged between his lungs. No underlying eroticism to lie to him as if this were just a game.

 

Just two broken dolls tossed together, a burning pain in his lungs, blood staining the carpet beneath them, and tears staining their faces. 

 

Takizawa, after much consideration, lifts his hands to rest them against the woman’s lower back, feeling her soft pulse on his fingertips through the warn fabric of her Academy graduation shirt. It didn't take him much to make the connection, just from scent, that the shirt was once his.

 

_she loves me?_

 

* * *

 

She's avoiding him, which is hard to do in the confined space, but its very obvious to Seidou that Akira doesn't want to look at him, or speak to him, or even acknowledge his existence at this point.

 

Akira sits, curled in on herself on the sofa with her eyes staring blankly to he cushions in front of her. Her brows are pulled together in a look of confusion and anger and she has yet to clean the blood off her hands or even change her clothes. For some reason he almost finds it offensive.

 

_am i not wanted here?_ Takizawa thinks for a brief moment, and moves around the apartment till he is seated on a recliner opposite to the sofa. He watches her eyes shift from their position, darting to see him sit, and returning to their original spot.

 

“why haven't you left yet?” Akira asks.

 

_good question._ “don’t wanna”

 

She's silent again, but turns on her seat so she can look him in the eyes. He stares back unblinking, teeth sinking into his lips and slowly gnawing off layers of soft skin, in a way he feels nervous, and in another, excited. Because she’s _looking at him._

 

“Is it..” she starts off, a hesitant breath breaking her words, “is it really you who did that to hana?”

 

He nods, and his mouth is full of blood, so thick he cant speak the word _yes,_ because hes sure it will sound more content and _pleased_ than she’d like. She shudders, his lips twitch to a slight grin before her line of sight changes to an uninhabited spot in the room. Avoidance.

 

“Also children from classes i helped with, and mother ( _mommy!_ ), and people who lived around _your_ home, Akira. The fat old lady on the lower floor, two doors down. remember her?” he barks, trying to pull a response from her as if her attention was all he wanted.

 

She glares at him, any reaction can be a good reaction in his opinion. _look at me look at me look at me look at me please Mado look at me._

 

Akira takes to distracting herself, her hands smoothing over her calves and down against her feet, her fingers tapped her toenail and dig nails into the soft flesh between her toes. Her hairs stand on end on her arms, and he watches her hands reach back up to brush them down, she's nervous and anticipating something.

 

He just has to figure out what she's thinking.

 

Takizawa keeps staring, as if somehow she will break, and he watches her eyes anxiously dart towards him every so often to assure herself he’s actually there. She's just not _acknowledging him_ like she should be.

 

Where did the crying, desperate Akira from an hour ago go? the woman who begged to have _her takizawa back. oh thats right… im not good enough now. Not the right takizawa._

 

She clearly has many questions she wants to ask, she just dosent know how to word them, when to ask them, or wether or not she really wants the answers to them. After all Seidou has been gone for three years, and given his current appearance and temperament she can already tell those three years were absolute hell.

 

Seidou groans inwardly, hes not sure how to prompt her, but he thinks maybe asking something will trigger it. “haven’t seen Houji in a while, still a hardass?” there was an edge of humor to his voice, an attempt to be playful that left Akira unamused. 

 

She gave him a withering look “Why do you care?” was her response, to which Seidou shrugged, so she continued “Hes fine, i guess, he’s been dealing with a lot recently” and then she goes quiet again. Akira’s eyes look away but at least theres more sign of life in them.

 

“You missed him?” she asks.

 

“when I remembered he existed“

 

“Remembered? did he really mean so little to you?”

 

“I forgot a lot of people in my time _away_ ”

 

“How can you just _forget_ the people you worked with for so long?”

 

Seidou brings his fingers to his mouth when anxiety twists in his gut, how is he supposed to explain to her whats happened to his mind? Even he doesn't know entirely where he went. What he is sure of is at one point he was still Seidou, and after enough torture, enough breaking, enough force-feeding and forced touches and foreign feelings of implements in his body, in his skin, in places that made him sob and beg and recede into a place that only existed in his mind. 

 

Somewhere along the line Seidou had died, and took with him the happy memories of his life.

 

Takizawa’s breathing staggers, _dont go back there, dont go back there, dont think about it, its done, you are broken, you are fixed, who are you, im takizawa, but who are you really? a skin thief, a destroyer of lives, terrible friend._

 

_“waste of space, fucking disgraceful. who are you? who are you? who who who-“_

 

_“_ Takizawa! _”_

 

The man was muttering, hysterical, two fingers reduced to stumps on his right hand and a third bitten down to its second knuckle. Akira’s hand was wrapped around his wrist and a look of shock and concern marked on her face.

 

_when did she do that?_ he thinks, and pulls his hand out of her grasp, small droplets of blood falling onto his pants and the sofa cushions beside him and he could clearly see a stain of his blood on her palm. _I have bleed so much here._

 

“Why do you do that to yourself!?” Akira asks, she stares at the bright crimson on her fingers and back to him “Why do you hurt yourself?”.

 

Honestly. he doesn't know how to answer. _Because i deserve it? because i need punishment? because it feels good, it feels good it feels so so so good, its relaxing and quells my hunger, it makes me feel right._ All he can muster is a confused sounding “I dont…know”.

 

Mado’s features soften, looking upon him with _disgusting_ pity like he were some sad case of a human. He stands and towers over her, _Dont look at me like that!,_ fear flashes past her eyes and she takes a step backwards. _she fears you_.

 

_chew chew chew chew, thief of love, thief of safety, of life, thieves have their hands cut off._

 

“It doesn't matter that it hurts if they grow back, right?” Seidou asks with no emotion to his voice, the still present fingers rake through his hair and streak it with bright red that contrasted the snow white. He thinks hes being quite reasonable, because that is what Eto taught him, If it grows back it doesn't matter that it hurts him, it shouldn't matter to a _perfect soldier._

 

So it wont matter to him.

And it surely shouldn't matter to the _perfect_ Akira.

 

The investigator takes his arm again, hands now gentle, _pity pity pity pity!!_ and she surveys the damage with closer eyes. They're growing back already in red, raw flesh that built on itself like icicles, her tentative fingers brush over the new forms, Seidou hisses and her digits come back stained red. She has a morbid curiosity with them, an expression of analysis and readable thoughts that screamed ‘ _inhuman’_ .

 

“Lets…” Mado inhales and has to force her eyes to move away from his hands “lets get you cleaned up” He just listens and doesn't question, In his opinion she needs it more than him, his blood was still on her face, and arms and hands. 

 

She leads him to the bathroom, not looking back but hand locked around his wrist, and he follows obediently. The room illuminates in blinding florescence, and the red becomes more pronounced on their pale skins, _maybe i do need a little clean up. when have i last bathed??_

 

“take off that thing and sit down” Akira mutters while blocking the drain and beginning to fill the sink with hot water and soap. Seidou almost has to ask _what thing?!_ as if his attire were normal. Of course she meant his cloak. 

 

_but I don't want to._ Seidou internally panics. _She's never seen this, the scars, the color, its unclean, its ugly, ugly! she’d be disgusted in me, in my impurity. so so ugly. so ugly._

 

The Owl clutches his hands into the black fabric and wrings it, there are holes where his chest is and his hands come away with dried, flaked blood on them. Ever so slowly he pulls it up, Akira watching his every move, and he inverts it over his head.

 

Her gasp is Audible, she didn't try to hide it, but its unclear of what exactly has shocked her. When he looks down at his chest he can only grimace, just as disgusting as last time, only now his marred flesh is smeared in crimson and healed puncture scars.

 

Mado just _wont stop_ with that look of pity, her brows knit and mouth struggling to form a sentence other than “oh my god” because the sheer extent of damage done to him was shocking. She turned off the faucet and turned to him with a wet cloth ready, approaching cautiously, she braces a hand on his right shoulder and feels him flinch under her touch.

 

Takizawa pulls away from her, his breath is unsteady and panicked, visibly shaking and rocking in place. _Im disgusting im disgusting, please dont look at me, dont look at me, don't touch me! keep your filthy hands off me!_ but her soothing voice urged him to calm down, the hand smoothing over his bicep and shushing him quietly.

 

She makes him take steps back to sit on the closed toilet lid and she tries again, this time the cloth makes contact with his bloodied chest and she begins to wipe away the stains, each stroke exposing more and more scar tissue and abnormal flesh and piling on his anxiety. Soon enough all the blood is gone, she has him wash off his arms in the sink, and she does the same to herself, a routine Investigators are almost familiar with.

 

With their skin clear Akira suggests he takes a shower to get the blood out of his hair, and he is thankful when she leaves the room because the weight of tension crushes him as soon as the door closes. His lungs compress, a loud sob echoed off the tiles, but he catches himself, bottling and suppressing his screams and cries in his throat before they escape.

 

He turns only the hot tap in the shower and steps under the spray.

 

* * *

 

Seidou leaves the bathroom in only his pants, his cloak is bloody and at this point unwearable, and he uncomfortably covers his chest with crossed arms. “wheres your shirt?” Akira asks, he watches her eyes instantly go to his exposed skin and he just holds himself tighter. 

 

“The only one i have with me isn't practical right now“ 

 

“You mean the backless crop top thing?”

 

“yes” Seidou gives a withering look to Akira’s snark, but she’s already prepared something for him, a plain white T-shirt a few sizes too big for her thats a struggle for him to pull his head through the tight neck hole. Its the first time he’s worn clean white in at least a year and it almost matches his skin color.

 

He walks over to the other uninhabited side of the sofa Akira sat on and took his perch, sitting with his knees drawn up to his chest and arms wrapped around his legs. Already he feels her staring eyes, inquisitive and full of curiosity, so he gives in with a sigh.

 

“just ask already while I'm still good to talk”

 

To that Mado made a sound of surprise, not really expecting him to be okay with a request to answer questions. Seidou himself had considerably calmed down during his shower and the lingering warmth left him complacent, so _for now_ he would humour her.

 

“um.. okay. i don’t know where to start..” she begins “you have been with the Aogiri this whole time?” was her first question, to which he nodded and didn't elaborate. 

 

Second “were there other investigators like you?”

“none that survived” _all pitiful trash, all a waste of the doctors time._

 

third “Do you know what happened with Amon”

“no” _yes, but I'm not telling you_

 

Fourth “All those scars..are they from investigators?”

This one he did want to explain a little, after all, no one really knows, and Akira is the first person to actually show concern for him in the past three years. 

 

“They're from many things. it started after I was taken in by the Aogiri. I lost my whole arm. all of it. And then they made me into a ghoul, they did…so many things to me. The doctor, h-he did the most, a circular saw, my legs, my stomach and things. It hurt so much” There was an obvious tremble to Seidou’s voice as he got into it. “the more they cut into the stronger it grew back, and they wanted me to be the strongest, so they kept cutting me up”

 

Akira makes a sympathetic hum, and a hand reaches out to rest on his thigh, she feels him tense under her, and he releases a shuddering breath. She’s trying to soothe him to the best of her ability, her thumb rubbing circles on the outside of his leg and hushing him.

 

“Can i ask you one more?” she says quietly.

 

“I dont know If I-”

 

“Why did you kiss me?”

 

A breath is caught in Seidou’s throat. _Why did I kiss her? I don’t know, I wanted to? why did I kiss you Mado? because you're beautiful, because you're everything i wanted to be, because you smelled so sweet I could have eaten you, because you tasted like heaven but so much sweeter. Did I kiss you because i love you? or because I detest you?_

 

_Do I love you?_

 

“Because…” he begins, words still unfound “because you were tempting”

 

“tempting?”

 

“y-yeah. You smelled really sweet, and looked so..so _good_ , you were just for me and…-“ _just for me, laying there like a feast, i could have chewed up those beautiful legs of yours and pull out your belly, but I kissed you. I could have ripped off your lips and opened your chest, but i kissed you. You were just for me, and i wanted to keep you. You are mine, mine mine mine mine._

 

_“-I made you mine”_

 

Takizawa chewed at his lips again, and gnawed a fingernail as well, calming, as a low tension began to heat his gut. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Akira tense, and shudder, maybe he could have worded that differently, but it felt right. It was surely better than what he was thinking.

 

No one wants to be _claimed_ by a big scary ghoul. 

 

Akira is quiet now, her hand still poised on his thigh, but her movements completely stilled, she must have just realised once again that he was no longer Takizawa, but the fucked up ghoul copy who has killed many of her comrades.

 

The ghoul turns his head and stares her down, his unblinking eyes meeting her mistrusting ones. There is something lingering between them, something unsaid that they cant translate, but Seidou is just a little better at giving in to impulse.

 

His hand reaches out and cups the back of her head, tugging her forward forcefully to press their lips together. She responds with a small gasp through her nose, but in a way she was anticipating this, and lets her mouth open into his.

 

She is exactly how he remembers it, so deliciously sweet she was worthy of a cavity, in a flavour that melted on his tongue like vanilla ice-cream. Both his hands threaded through her hair and angled her head for him to kiss as deeply as he pleased.

 

Its so different kissing her when she's awake, the fever of her breath running over his cheek from her nose, or the feeling of her tongue nervously twitching against his own when he pushes into her mouth. It was _simply divine_ in all senses, the kiss left him dizzy from the thick scent and overpowering taste, he couldn't help himself but to groan as he pulled back.

 

Akira, again, stares at him with wide glassy eyes, lips now red and kiss bruised, _claimed._ But tears shone in them, reflecting the room like fairy lights in her lavender pools. _Ive done something wrong._ was all that went through his head.

 

The woman breaks with a few small hiccups, a quiet cry, but a cry nonetheless, and her hand cupping over her mouth like a shield. 

 

“Why are you doing these things to me?” she asks, and its almost inaudible.

 

_Because _I just don't know._ I think I’m in love with you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok real talk, Seidou's baby arm though.  
> remember that once scene from deadpool how hes like "i feel like a monster in my hand" i could only think of that and it shows just how mature i am as a person.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seidou's lack of control is concerning hhhgn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna say happy birthday to the lovely Asinoeiv <3 you are an incredible artist

Akira got tired quickly, emotional exhaustion, the tension between them weighed heavy on her and by the afternoon she was struggling to keep her eyelids open.

 

She didn't want to talk much after Seidou kissed her, in fact, she had completely withdrawn into herself, and he too had gone quiet. It wasn't an awkward silence between them now, it was one with an understanding that neither wanted to address, the knowledge that there is _something_ they feel between them that honestly scared them.

 

Quietly Akira stood from her seat, her eyes flicking towards him over her shoulder, she murmured “going to bed” much too quietly for him to hear. He cant help but to feel a little concerned as the sun was still bright in the sky, to sleep at this hour meant bad health, his teeth began to worry at the skin of his lip.

 

Her hairs stood on end as she walked to her room, just feeling his owlish eyes trailing her chilled her to the bone. She didn't know what to do with him, she didn't know how to explain how she's feeling, or how to cope with the strangling smog that clouded her lungs when she stared at him for too long. She needed _space_.

 

So he left her to her own devices.

 

* * *

 

Akira cant sleep.

 

There is a space she seems to float between thats not quite awake, but much too tired, and almost asleep but much too aware. Its uncomfortable and she just feels more exhausted every time her eyes flicker open to see the clock has only changed a few minutes.

 

Its been hours now, that pass like days, she's been in the in-between sleep for the past four hours and heard nothing but the silent padding of Takizawa pacing in her living room. He’s murmuring to himself, nonsensical that she cant make heads or tails of, but he hasn't come a step close to her bedroom door much to her relief.

 

Its _scary_ , she has no other words for it, the man was unpredictable, he was known for extreme acts of violence, she vividly remembers watching from a distance as Takizawa bisects other investigators, as he tears limbs off and shoves chunks of bruised flesh into his gaping maw. 

 

She's been frozen in place, terrified, knowing he’d become a _monster._

 

At some point, She thought she’d rather he died. At least that way it was honourable, at least that way he wouldn't have had to suffer, at least that way so many people didn't have to die. But another part of her, a greedy, greedy and selfish part of her, values him more than any of the investigators he’d slaughtered.

 

_Im so fucked up_. she thinks. _How selfish and disgusting._

 

Akira is interrupted by an eerie sound that makes her skin tingle, Takizawa has stopped moving, but spoke words with complete clarity, “ _Im hungry_ ”, it was only when a quietness that settled in her stomach like dread.

 

A hungry ghoul would eat anything, as far as she knew, and she has seen what is left when Takizawa feasts on a body. _poor, poor hana._ She hears him pace again, louder, heavy footed and determined, directed towards her bedroom door. She quickly turns in her bed to face away from the light that flooded the room and tried her hardest to still her breath.

 

_Pretend you are asleep. Pretend you are asleep and he might not hurt you._

 

She is sure she's passing, no movement, and deep slow breaths regardless of her frantically beating heart. Takizawa approaches her, she can _feel him_ looming at her bedside, and hears the sickening sound of bones crunching when he sticks his fingers back into his mouth like he does so often.

 

“Aki…” he whispers, she doesn't want to answer, fear choking any trace of sound from her lungs.

“oh, my beautiful akira” Seidou sounds different, a gravely sound to his voice, it was intimidating and made Akira’s skin itch, she wanted to fight him away, she wished her quinque was still laying in wait beneath her bed in case the man decides to ‘take a bite’.

 

The mattress behind her dips, his heavy weight making her body curl towards him when he leans forward. She doesn't dare open her eyes, but she can feel almost everything he does.

 

Takizawa’s hair tickles against her face, and she can hear quick sharp inhales through his nose. _why is he sniffing me, oh my god, get off me please get off. i don't want to be eaten, i don't want to die._ The ghoul looming over her releases a deep, almost _erotic_ sigh against her skin that made her hairs stand on end.

 

Her body feels tense, it was uncomfortable but what else should she do? Takizawa wasn’t moving from above her, other than his occasional shift to scent different parts of her body, from what she could feel he has his face pressed into the juncture of her neck and shoulder, eagerly inhaling her intoxicating smell.

 

That she could easily cope with, but it quickly became too much when she felt the heavy, wet muscle of Seidou’s tongue lave the skin of her neck and she couldn't hold back the shocked gasp that tore from her throat. The man didn't cease his actions, in fact he chuckled lowly at the audible reaction and mouthed at the pronounced tendon.

 

“I can feel you’re awake, mado” he murmurs, it vibrates against her skin and ignites something deep within her. She doesn’t know what he wants her to say, so she lies “You woke me up”.

 

Akira feels him smirk into her skin before letting his tongue slip out and caress her again, and she shivers, drawing her shoulders up and pushing Seidou away. He finds it entertaining given his reaction, and a hand gently spread her out before him again to resume his position.

 

“I like it here” he confesses “Just let me try at little, just a bite, I'm peckish,  _peckish, no, starving_ ,  just a bite”, Seidou rambles, again the deep tremors of his voice shake something with both fear and something.. _warm_. something _frightening,_ and yet a tightening that constricts her insides and makes the butterflies wings tremble in her stomach.

 

His teeth graze skin and again she tenses, shoulders drawn up, which makes the ghoul heave a grunt of frustration. Again he wrenches her head and shoulder apart, their eyes meet and his vibrant red pupil mocks her for a brief second before he dives to nip at her throat.

 

An audible shout echoes in the room, much to her embarrassment, but she frantically pushes the man away with trembling hands that retreat to her neck to cover his damage. 

 

Akira seethes “What do you think you're doing?”, and Takizawa just grins back, licking bloodied lips and baring red stained teeth.

 

“Ive had my nibble” he states as a matter of fact, hands lifted in defence but an unstable twitch of his eye made her doubt he was finished “You have peaked my appetite Mado, don't think i can control myself around you like this keheh..” 

 

The response of fight or flight dances in her mind momentarily, to fight would be instant death, helpless without a quinque, to run would be dangerous, but possible. Her gut doesn't stop trembling.

 

“aaah” a drawling groan resounds, in his eyes she sees something sinister and her shaking hands slip against her slick, bloodied neck. He stares at it with hunger, stares _through_ her. “if i come back…and you aren't here, ill be sad”Seidou states.

 

_He will be…sad?_ _what bullshit._

 

Akira simply nods, and he keeps his eyes on her for a few minutes longer, his tongue pressing to his teeth and out to dab his lips, he was certainly hungry. But he seems to know of ‘other sources’ for a meal. Akira is grateful bit fearful.

 

It takes a few hesitant movements before Seidou can tear his eyes away from her and leave the apartment off the balcony. She follows him out to watch him, but after peaking over the railing she saw nothing, he had left quickly.

 

Cold night air fills her lungs, _it burns,_ and her hand separates from her neck, sticky with the dried blood that coated her fingertips. The trembling in her stomach finds its way up through her chest and erupts in short bursts of sobs.

 

The feeling of fear, helplessness, the conflict of wanting and not wanting Seidou around, she was so exhausted. Akira was exhausted and she still didn't know what to do. She was so unfamiliar with not having control.

 

“..Um! m-miss!” a meek, elderly voice shouts to her. She almost doesn't respond, but she turns and sees her neighbour frantically flapping her hands towards her. 

 

The poor old woman looked sheet white, shocked, terrified, but also very concerned “Ill be right over!”

 

* * *

 

Akira gets back into bed by 4am. The sun will rise in three hours, but she's sure her body will rest for much longer. The weight of exhaustion held her body heavily into the mattress and sat on her chest, solid and unmoving like a concrete blanket.

 

Her neighbour had seen things, heard things, she was ready to report a ghoul attack to the CCG when she saw the stains of blood on her skin, and the larger one on the carpet, _you should see my bed_ Akira was tempted to joke.

 

Though she was against the idea, she told the woman not to worry, and showed her own badge. “I handled it fine, the attack was an ambush but he was mortally wounded when he fled”, a blatant lie, but the elderly woman bought into it while wrapping bandages around Akira’s neck. 

 

She didn't want to risk the woman calling the CCG, she didn't want to risk Seidou dying, somewhere in her heart she thought _i can fix him, i can make things okay,_ While another argued _I'm going to die, he's a monster, he's going to kill me._ At either risk, she wasn't ready to let the CCG take him away, not yet.

 

Akira still had a lot she had to ask, a lot to learn, and many unspoken feelings she's has yet to identify.

 

After all the exhaustion she slipped into a peaceful dreamless sleep.

 

* * *

 

She dreams of confusing things. Things that make her uncomfortable, but also settle an exciting fire in her gut. 

 

Seidou doesn't speak in her dream, but somehow she knows what he's thinking, she can tell how excited, _how hungry_ , he is. She's laying in bed again, just as the night before, and his powerful being towers above her. 

 

There is no fear within her, and he is calm as he slots a knee between her thighs, mouth nipping and sucking the skin of her throat in a pleasant way. Her body tingled, chest tight and breaths huffing out in short moans.

 

Her mind clouds in the sensation of pleasure, and he holds her tighter, hands bruising, lips drawn back to bare teeth and his attack on her throat becomes more animalistic. She feels weak, but she also feels so good. She doesn't want this seidou to go, doesn't want to lose this incredible feeling, so she gladly lets him feast on her, and for him to feed the burning pool in her belly.

* * *

 

Akira wakes up warm, much too warm, Its a suffocating heat that smothered her and made her head spin. She lifts her head from the pillow and shuts he eyes to the bright light that filled her bedroom, it was surely an unpleasant way to wake up, she feels her head is throbbing and just wants to fall back asleep.

 

she feels pressure against her shoulders, the source of warmth sighs and pulls her closer, tucking her head beneath its chin. It didn't take much for her to make the connection that it was Seidou, excessively warm and deep asleep…. and absolutely covered in blood.

 

Mado looked over him, his neck and chest were exposed and coated, strands of pink hair stick to his jaw and neck, even the arms that held her close to his body were stained red to the bicep. She can only assume he’d had a long night of _murdering_ and _gorging_ himself on corpses.

 

Its transferred onto herself, onto the blankets and pillows, all marred with smears of crimson. She feels angry, but hesitant to voice so, after all this man was unpredictable, violent, and a murderer. She pulls herself from his arms and sits, _he's out cold,_ she thinks when looking down on him, from where she can see his mouth is generously covered as well.

 

_I hate this._ Akira thinks. _what am I supposed to do? what do I do with him?_

 

She watches him closely, his hands clench and arms tugging at her waist to bring her back, his bloody red hands, she pushes him back, and the dead weight of his body barely budges, but his arms slip from around her form with a whine in his throat. 

 

Akira slips off the bed and quickly makes her way into the adjoined bathroom, Her reflection caught her off guard, but she had anticipated it. Blood, old and fading, was tangled into her hair, fingerprints on her neck and shoulders, and cheeks, it was concentrated but smudged around her mouth as if it were transferred on like lipstick.

 

She saw red streaks on her shirt and pyjama shorts, and lifting the hem of her shirt she sees more bright marks littering her skin up to her ribs. _was that even a dream?_ she considers, but all low laying eroticism of her dreams surely wasn't presented here on her skin, there were no delicate kiss marks, no bruises on her shoulders, just the remnants of hesitant and skittish fingertips exploring where they shouldn't have.

 

She regards them with curiosity, and anger, and the fire left in her stomach withers. She's sure he means no harm, if he wanted to really hurt her he would have done so by now, but this torture, the confusion behind his blatant actions, was far worse.

 

It is there that she decides she will address this later, she confirms to herself, she will stand up to him and make him confess his intentions. There is no more for her to do than wash herself of his sin.

 

* * *

 

Akira feels much more refreshed when she exits the shower room, her towel tightly wrapped around her body, _like hell id put those bloody clothes back on._ But the first thing she notices is Seidou, sitting on the edge of the bed, shaking.

 

“Takizawa?” she asks, and he tenses visibly.

 

She hears him breath harshly, no, it was a sob, and he raises his head from his hands. She sees fresh blood ooze from a series of wounds on his arms, teeth and nail gouges that dug deep enough to expose raw muscle. 

 

“A-aki…” she hears seidou whine, she takes a step forward with a scowl of concern and watches as he flinches back from her. he looked _scared._ The closer she got the more he started to back up on the mattress “..dont…please” 

 

“Whats wrong? Seidou, what did you do?”

 

He barks back a fearful “Im sorry!”, scrambling against the sheets and smearing a fresh coat of blood on them. “I have to do it! don't touch me! get away!”

 

“Seidou stop! you're going to hurt yourself”

 

“I..I need to hurt myself, it will grow back I promise!”

 

“you’re bleeding! stop moving”

 

Takizawa stills and bows his head, hyperventilating, hands fisted in the sheets below him, but internalising his panic. Akira moves slower this time, circling the bed to the other side to slowly bring him back to the edge, her eyes trained on the wounds to watch the flesh knit together and reopen with movement. _he's not human._

 

The ghoul refused to meet her eyes, a whine, almost like the cry of a dog, occasionally shaking out of his throat, she held his arms with as much delicacy as she could till they had both healed over and the blood had dried sufficiently before she tried to speak again.

 

“why did you do that?” Akira asked

 

Takizawa shakes his head, and tries to lower it further into his chest, submitting, she wont let him. Akira raises her hands to lift his head, his pupils were quite dilated, frantically finding other things to look at in the room other than her face. 

 

“..seidou?” 

 

“I needed it” it catches her off guard. _he needed it?_  
  
“what do you mean?” she asks back.

 

“doctor… i mean… punishment for.. over eating”

 

Akira wipes her thumbs beneath his eyes, spreading a mix of tears and blood onto his cheeks. She's not sure why exactly he's started his habit of self harm, chewing his fingers and lips, and apparently the flesh off his arms, but she doesn't want it at all.

 

The woman states “you cant do this again” and he visibly withers.

 

“you don't understand…”

 

“its okay”

 

“I HAVE TO DO IT!”

 

“shh, you're okay”

 

“p-please dont, aki i cant..”

 

She runs her fingers through his hair, as best as she can given how matted it is, and hushes him quietly, his shaking has slowed considerably, same as breathing, and she lets him lean himself forward as he calms. Akira pays no mind when his head comes to rest against her collarbones, or as he lazily drapes his arms around her waist, staining her white bathtowel, she just continues petting him.

 

"youre going to be okay" - _my takizawa_

 

_ This, too, we will have to speak about. _

 

* * *

 

 

[Also you should check out this fine piece of art by the lovely birthday girl <3](http://asinoeiv.tumblr.com/post/148891329472/read-this-it-is-a-beautiful-fanfic-by-noheichou) its amazign and i keep going back to look at it you should all enjoy it too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmmmm watcha saaaay.  
> my life is a damn struggle pit at the moment if Im being honest.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharp tongues, greedy mouths, why cant they get along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi.  
> Boy howdy. do I have a big apology for the readers.  
> I want to say sorry for how long this took, I really wanted to write this as soon as i could but in the end things got more and more out of hand, i started and stopped and started and stopped over and over again. Im honestly dissatisfied with this chapter because of how choppy it seems.  
> Ill elaborate in the end note but again.
> 
> Im sorry this all took me so long <3

He harms himself as punishment, or at least that is what he claims, and she doesn't think much on how to address it once she has him cleaned up again. Three towels stained red in the past three days, all bloodied because of the same person.

 

Akira brings him into the living room, and still he wont meet her eyes, she keeps prompting him with small talk. “do you want some sunlight?”, “its warm today”, “are you okay?” “I’ll be going to work again soon” “are you okay?”

 

He doesn't talk back each time, so she moves around the room on her own accord, makes herself a mug of coffee and a second thinking he might want one, it sits and grows cold by the time she's swallowed down her second.

 

_Hes gotta snap out of it soon_ she tells herself, and thinks back to the days in the offices where he withdraws when shot down, and spends the rest of the day moping. This is almost the same, only instead of a pout and scowl his hollow eyes sit unblinking and teeth slipping off his lower lip with soft drags. _He will snap out of it soon._

 

She moves to stand before him, observes him and the way his body doesn't move with the shallow breaths he takes. “takizawa” Akira prompts, still nothing more than a sigh through his nose, so by impulse she relents, bites back her urge to indulge him, and threads her hands in his hair with a tight grip.

 

The man hisses as she forces his head back to bare his dilated pupils and sharp teeth, he seethes, and a low growl works it way through his throat.

 

“the fuck you want?”

 

Akira scowls back at him “I want you to stop being weird! whats wrong with you?”

 

“Im jus’ tired”he claims.

 

Akira rolls her eyes, untangles her fingers, she watches Seidou instantly move to run his fingers through the pale locks and untangle knots, some exposing red clumps that he missed in the shower earlier,

 

She questions “..how late did you get home last night?”

 

“you really think i checked the time?”

 

“Maybe you wouldn't be tired if you didn't stay out late… just saying”

 

“what are you, my fucking mother?”

 

“If I was I’d be dead, wouldn't I?”

 

Seidou’s head snaps up at her, his expression flickers between deep regret and a burning rage what she could feel permeate the air around them. She should have held her tongue, her sharp wit only proved to be good in situations she couldn't die in.

 

His glare is accusatory, but his eyes glaze over with tears, his body shudders when he forces a compressed breath through clenched teeth. “what, why would you..?” , his voice breaks, and brows crease, the expression of a wounded fox. Takizawa is a kaleidoscope of emotions, and phases in and out faster than Akira can respond.

 

“n-no I… I didn't mean it that way-“

 

“You have no idea how fucked it was!” He stands now, abruptly, and Akira takes a pace back with hands out “I didn't want to do it! It was that fucker, Kanou! If i didn't he’d do worse to me! she was so fucking scared, Aki, and i ate her!”

 

The backs of Akira’s legs hit the coffee table and she barely regained her footing, Seidou still advanced on her, she braces her arms with closed fists, a poorly held defence stance, and he sneers at her display.

 

“what, are you afraid? don't like when i get upset?!”

 

“Seidou you need to calm down”

 

“then don't FUCK with me!”

 

They move together, disconnected but following each other with uneven steps, the hold of their eyes being the only thing that keeps the two from clashing. He watches her closely, he's waiting for something, an attack maybe? or for true fear to cross her expression? maybe another backhanded comment. But Akira just stares him down.

 

_Say something! fucking say something!! ill kill you, don't toy with me! speak! speak! speak!_

 

“no more snark in you when you're scared, huh?”

 

“fuck you!”

 

_she's scared! she's scared!_

 

Akira growled lowly in her throat, her lips curled into a snarl, such a rare and pretty sight of a lioness backed into a corner. It amused him. His next step forward was met with a solid punch to his solar plexus and left him winded and giddy, but his lips broke into a clownish grin and he wheezed out a bark of laughter.

 

She pushed him back by the shoulders, he noted how Akira had to put her bodyweight into it, and let himself tumble when she came down against him. Thumbs pressed into his jugular, and delicate fingers struggled to close around Seidou’s throat, he giggles, and his own hands reach for her neck.

 

_I could break you right now if i wanted to! Snap you in half! your fragile bones are like sugarcubes!_ you're so sweet _, and skin like paper,_ pure and untouched _, i can break you so easily._

 

Takizawa squeezes tightly, and her own nails bite into his flesh and grimy blood pools around her thumbs. “Let me go!” she seethes, and he feels the weight of her knee press against his stomach, _she's not eating right, so light, feed her, feed me, just a nibble._

 

“Keh.. you're the one.. who went for my neck first”

 

He lets his head roll to the side, his head swam momentarily and he forgot why he needed to breath anyway, his hands tightened in response and the sound of Akira gasping above him was enthralling.

 

The woman reels back, and then dives, his arms buckled under the quick movement and her forehead came into contact with his face. Takizawa felt the crunch of his nose and groaned out in pain, He definitely felt pain, but quickly following that was a rush of excitement that had him shaking. 

 

Seidou heaves himself over, the two roll, and he pins her body beneath his with hands still tightly clasped around her throat. Small droplets of blood fall from him onto Akira’s cheek, bright and vivid against her pale skin like rubies glistening in the light.

 

“that fuckin hurt!” the ghoul purred “ _use your head_ next time and try something more effective”

 

_keheh! get it? use your head! your beautiful, disgusting, such shiny eyes,_ _don't cry,_ _ill break your nose too, bite it off! brittle like meringue, eugh i hate cartilage_

 

With a wheeze of effort Akira’s arms struggle to hold fast to his throat and drop to her sides, her vision was beginning to swim, “ta..ki” she sighed, and heard a rumble of his laughter in response. He was really going to kill her, _what a pitiful way to die._

 

“whats wrong Mado? take back what you said earlier?” _EAT YOUR WORDS_

 

“Fuck…you”

 

_heh, yeah, fuck me. l_ _ove me_ _. fuck me._

 

He huffs a laugh that makes more blood fall from him onto her, she grimaces, coughs, and he revels in the change of color on her skin. Her lips begin to pale, cheeks blushing crimson and her body writhed beneath his to throw him off.

 

He watches her eyes water, its like a burning rush of excitement that runs through his body when he feels a life slowly slip through his fingers, its just so much more thrilling to know that the very person below him is Akira Mado.

 

The woman’s hands rise, shaking, and grip his wrists tightly, long nails threatening to sink into his flesh in a desperate attempt to make him let go. She whines as her vision swims, a mixture of her tears and the lack of air leaving the image of Seidou as a blurry white and red blob. 

 

The tears fill and overflow, so his hands slacken around her throat. _She's scared, she's scared, Akira! please stop please stoppleasepleaseplease mommy! I'm sorry don't kill her! don't kill her I'm sorry._ “Mado” Takizawa growls while she gasps in full lungs of air, his hands itch to clench again, they crave to crush her windpipe and dig into her ribs,“mado..” _i_ _ll kill you!_ _please stop_. 

 

“sei…. i…ah” Akira struggles to speak.

 

“Whats that?”

 

“don..t. please dont..kill me”

 

“…” Seidou pauses for a moment, and releases his hands from her “Momma… said the same thing you know”fingertips trace along her neck and caress the red rings that were growing more and more prominent on her pale skin, gentle strokes“I still did it though. Theres a lot you can do when ya humanity is gone, even kill a woman you love”

 

A shaking sigh leaves Akira, her face showing clear fear and repulsion, whereas his own showed noting at all. He knows he should show sadness, or anger, or _something at least_ but really, he couldn't deny it made him somehow _better_. What the vile ‘queen’ of the Aogiri put him through had built him a skin of titanium, a high wall that protected the shaking bare man he’d been when this hell all began.

 

_don’t try to fix what isn't broken_.

 

Akira shifts below him again, her hips roll, and body writhing, but he held himself with knees firmly planted by her sides. She braces her hands against his chest and shove, makes him sway, and he sits himself back against her thighs. She lifts herself onto her elbows, their faces close, and she watches his tongue slip out to lick the dried blood off his upper lip. 

 

“Youre so..fucked up” the woman speaks. 

 

He laughs at this, then sniffs, and responds with a giddy “yeah.. i am” as if there were some humour to his derangement. Yes, he was well aware how ‘fucked up’ he was, but he didn't care anymore, _Nothing matters anymore, what happened has happened. Things are different now._

 

He seems distracted for a moment, his attention shifting to the other side of the room and his eyes narrow, a twitch in his lip that dares to pull into a snarl, but he stifles himself, cups Akira’s chin and lifts her head to meet his eyes.

 

“…but you, dear Mado, my pretty, and petty bird. You're almost as fucked up as I am”

 

She looks at him with a glare thats almost offended, and he quirks his brows as if she should know this already. He just grins at her, squeezes her cheeks, and shakes her head in his hands, her head simply rolling with his movements. She doesn't appreciate being manhandled clearly by her grimace.

 

Seidou chuckles at her before placing a quick peck to her pushed out lips “Just almost though, almost” 

 

The woman shakes her head out of his hands and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, childish, but followed by the bite of her fragile lips that shows no denial that the attention was well received.

 

_His mood swings are so hard to follow._ Akira thinks, _I need to watch what i say and do around him._

 

She shows caution when she moves around him, slow steps where her heels barely touch the carpet, she watches the pale man turn and giddily pace to the sliding glass door of her balcony, not a single sign of her hands stood out against his flesh, no nail bites or bruises to be seen.

 

“we have a visitor” Seidou spoke and pulled back the curtains to reveal a short blurred form behind the glass. She could see a mass of black that leaned in and pressed its hands to the glass, taunting them from the other side.

 

With a bit of aggression she watches Takizawa open the door, it hits the end of its rail with a loud bang like the fire of a gun. There is some incredibly short girl with wide tired eyes and an angry expression, arms crossed and head cocked.

 

“Do you have any idea how hard it is to find you when you've bathed?” Her voice is scratchy and deep for someone of her stature, she drops her hood and stares into the room, they lock eyes and she glares. Akira can already tell this is probably an Aogiri associated Ghoul.

 

Takizawa bites back.“go home you old cow”

 

“Im not- ugh” she moves to kick his shin but it never makes contact from their distance, she continues in a hushed voice while looking at Akira through the corner of her eye “Eto needs you to come back for assistance with the gangs in the Shinagawa ward”

 

“Im busy”

 

“tch, feeding isn't ‘busy’, you're a damn binge eater”

 

Akira hears Seidou growl deep in his throat and instinctively steps backwards again, their attention is drawn to her when the floorboards below her creak under her weight. The woman ghoul scoffs and attempts to enter the room, eyes locked and predatory, but she was hindered by Seidou’s arms firmly affixed to either side of the doorway.

 

“I see you're playing with your food again, you pervert”

 

_Again?_ Akira thinks.

 

“Fuck off, ill be done in a minute, just go and ill be there soon”

 

“you were choking her? ahahaha! of course you are”

 

“i said _FUCK OFF,_ Miza”

 

The connection is made in Akira’s head, Miza of ‘The blades’, who’d been hunted for months and went silent, still a target of the CCG. She was terrifying for someone of her stature.

 

Miza pats Seidou with the back of her hand against his sternum and raises her head to him once more, taunting almost, parting with “just be there or else” and jumping from the balcony. Her visit was _short_ lived but Akira could already tell Takizawa wasn't fond of the woman.

 

She watches as he lifts his shirt to his nose and inhales, his brow twitches and creases before he looks towards her again. He mutters something like “-dont smell like _me_ ” while approaching her again. His eyes stated obviously to her, and the conversation she’d heard, that he's leaving. 

 

Hes tense, reluctant, and not knowing how to say farewell with such short notice. His hand reaches out to brush against her arm, _why did you flinch? why did you flinch at my touch?_ _whats wrong?,_ and closes around it, bringing her close to him again till their chests were pressed to one another.

 

“Mado” Takizawa speaks and looks down at her, where she looks up, their faces inches apart and noses brush.

 

Akira responds “So you are leaving?” with an underlying reluctance.

 

“yeah, got no choice if they're sending out a messenger”

 

“are you… will you come back?”

 

_she wants me back! she wants me to return! my aki, my wife waiting for me to return from a days work._

 

“Of course I will”

 

Akiras hands, though hesitant with a light tremble, reach around him and close with fists tightening in the fabric of his shirt. _she doesn't want me to leave_. He holds her head in his hands again and thumbs gently brush against her lips, parting them, and the peek of her wet tongue between her teeth spurs him to close their mouths together.

 

This time, unlike the others, Akira accepts his affection. He kisses her deeply and watch her eyelids flutter shut. His tongue meets no resistance when it pushes into her mouth and she voices no protest, just sighing meekly though her nose.

 

_just like that night, soft, sweet, she's accepting me, she wants me to return, milk and honey and soft soft skin, so fragile and mine, a delicious treat, glazed cherry lips just for me._

 

They part with an audible smack, Akira panting for air and eyes slowly opening to meet his. The way her teary eyes shone at him and the precious strawberry blush that crossed her cheeks entrapped him, of course he’d come back, _else someone other than him could claim this body._ A body he knows should his.

 

Seidou’s fingers dip passed her face and stroke the bruised finger marks on her neck, flowing over her collarbones like trickling water. She doesn't push him away when his lips follow, and ever so slowly he strings her a necklace of red marks that sit at the neckline of her t-shirt, vibrant against the cream fabric.

 

“Of course I’ll come back” another kiss that’s cradled at the juncture of her breast, she shivers and threads her fingers in his hair, his name stuttered and falls from her tongue like a shy child. 

 

“H-how long?” Akira questions him.

 

_(writer note: took a lot of willpower to leave out a ‘seven inches’ joke)_

 

His breath fans over her her skin again, his work lay before his yes and was _oh so satisfying_ for him to witness. “ten days at most” he states.

 

_Ten days._

 

“Please… come back here then, straight away, come back to me”

 

With this said the Ghoul raises his head, their eyes meet and hold for one last exchange and akira feels her lips itch to close in but she denies them the impulse. He leaves her soon after, hesitant to take the step out of her home and being chased by chaste touches and lingering hands that wanted contact for even a second longer.

 

_I will make it nine._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my loves. omg  
> my life has been a wreck for this month.  
> A lot has been going on, Mainly my workplace, new systems have been enforced, higher expectations, new managers, all this mess, and its fucked me up.  
> My stress levels are literally so high im at risk of having a psychotic breakdown, when i return home from a days work im so tired i oftentimes just go to sleep without even eating, its that tiring. Im not saying this for pity, i just need you to know that right now writing isnt on my list of urgencies.
> 
> My next chapter might take another long gap because of this and I am sorry, but my life is not in my own control currently.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting sooner than they'd think.  
> Just not at the best time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ///bangs pots and pans together  
> PLEASE DONT HATE ME FOR DISAPPEARING FOR THREE MONTHS  
> PLEASE DONT HATE ME FOR NOT UPDATING 
> 
> In the time ive been away ive been incredibly stressed, like always, Ive started Hormone treatment, and my workplace is asking for much more from me than they should be.
> 
> Im about ready to DIE but whateverrrr. This took me forever to write but i started reading this... peculiar story thats sparked my bloodlust again. Killing Stalking. hella hella hella hella.
> 
> AGAIN PLEASE DONT HATE ME

Blood, viscera, the stretch and snap of tendons and muscle, the adrenaline and excitement that thrums through his body. Seidou loved to hunt without a doubt. It made the man feel powerful, made him feel feared with the same intensity he himself feared death.

 

He felt _alive._

 

As his clawed hands sink into the stomach of a writhing man and twist, they tug and they dig till they latch onto the slippery spongey innards that have him salivating.

 

And now brings his favourite part, the look of horror as his victim watches him slide the long string of bloodied organs out of them, followed by the pitiful roll of eyes and the dimming of pupils when they finally loose consciousness.

 

He revelled in this power.

 

He was _drunk_ on the feeling of life slipping through his fingers. 

 

The first deep bite is euphoric, instantly his mouth fills with blood and he shamelessly moans around the dripping meat. It stains his face red, dripping down his neck and disappearing into his robes, it leaves him shaking and eager to stuff his mouth.

 

Takizawa feasts for hours, meticulously stripping the flesh and not leaving a single stray piece of meat to spare, he doesn't know when he’d be able to eat this well again. Before he's aware he's abandoned the use of his hands and is sinking his teeth into the fatty remnants of the man’s belly, the flesh sticking to his teeth and grease texture making his throat close, but he didn't stop, after all no bit should go to waste in a good meal.

 

Theres a sting that abruptly snaps across his back, it burns like a flame that forces him to arch with a hiss, eyes drawn to the perpetrator who stands a meter behind him. 

 

In the shadows Takizawa sees a short figure, in hand a shining whip that gleams dangerously but holds such a familiarity that nostalgia grabs him by the throat and forces him to shout a cackling mad “AKIRA!” in surprise.

 

She stands alone, stance spread and prepared for battle, one he’d seen so many times before but thought a breeze could knock such a small, frail woman down, but he was a gust, a typhoon, and he’d leave a path of devastation in his wake just to knock her to the ground.

 

_Yes_ he thinks, _to knock her on the ground._

 

Seidou stands and watches as Akira takes a pace backward, her heavy boot crunching a shard of glass beneath her on the dirty concrete. 

 

“Takizawa?” she questions, he responds with a shout of her name again, a grin blooming across his face in an instant.

 

_how many days has it been? four? five? i lost count, who was counting? not me, no… i was, in scratch marks on the walls, six days._

 

Seidou stands an reaches a bloodied hand towards the woman, She raises her quinque again and the shining tail of the whip reflects in the light behind her, she's ready to attack when she needs to.

 

“Are you here to join me for dinner?” He asks, the tone peaking at its edge in humour “I hope you’ve brought your table manners”

 

The woman approaches him hesitantly, concern clearly written on her features as the ghoul lazily wipes (moreover smears) blood from his cheek with his ripped sleeve. 

  
“You were part of this?” Akira asks.

 

“not till today…”

 

“what do you have to do with these ghouls? are they Aogiri?”

 

“why all these questions? Not going to say hello? or ask how i’ve been? I'm hurt”

 

He is clearly mocking her, as he dramatically rolls his wrist against his forehead in feigned distress. 

 

_its been a week, didn't you miss me? i missed you my sweet, i missed your presence, i missed your scent so beautiful and strong i could taste it on my tongue. I want to bury my face in your hair again, and nibble your soft peach flesh._

 

_Let me feel you close to me again._

 

“Do you even know who you have killed?” _of course not!_

 

“i know he tastes pretty good”

 

She is visibly revolted by that, body tense and face contorting into a grimace. He steps towards her, his gait loose and clearly inhibited somehow, like a limp, or inebriation. Regardless it leaves Akira uncomfortable and concerned.

 

when he is face to face with her she can smell the stench of decay on him, his hair is matted and hadn't been washed since last she saw him. He gave off the appearance of a mutt, a rabid one. The blood stains around his mouth really didn't help either. 

 

Akira extended an arm, the one clutching her quinque, and holds it between their bodies, a warning, _an empty threat,_ that leaves Seidou with no choice but to reluctantly keep himself away from her… _for now,_

 

But the temptation is just too strong.

 

**Come in, Associate special class Mado? we've lost sight of the primary targets, please respond with your position, over.**

 

_Those damn communications devices_ Seidou thinks as the radio clipped to Akira’s collar sounds. As she moves her hand to hold down for the mouth piece to activate he stops her, taking another stop closer and letting the blade of her quinque press against his sternum while he clasps her hand close to her neck.

 

“I always hated interruptions, loud mouths in the middle of class, let me talk, this is _my time”_

 

Akira tugs her arm in an attempt to free her hand, but he persists, and soon her knuckles are pressing painfully against her own collarbone. Her eyes dart to meet his that glow back to her in a brilliant red, they stand out, enticing, _hungry and frightening._ She turns her head away from him when his face gets _too close_ and the stench of blood fills her nostrils.

 

“Is it really that bad”

 

_am i really that bad? do i repulse you? Kiss me! it tastes fine, like a steak slow cooked with red wine, delicious._

 

The Owl groans in his throat, a sound similar to a coo, as he further pushes against Akira and into her personal space.

 

"Thought you'd be used to a little blood, Mado" he slurs, tongue rolling out to emphasise his words as he drags the wet appendage against a fresh wound on her cheek. She tenses and feels the rushed sigh she breathes out of her nose, he doesnt miss it.

 

_ do you like it? do you like my touch? my tongue on your skin? would you like the taste of blood my dear aki?  _

 

He pushes against her, mouth pressed and prying her lips apart with a voracious appetite, she tastes of adrenaline, clenched teeth and droplets of blood from her lips when he nips at her in aggravation for her reluctance to reciprocate. When he pulls back he sees her cheeks smeared red, and she visibly heaves in an attempt to hold back vomit.

 

“Dont like the taste?” Seidou mocks.

 

Akira gags and struggles against him, “Youre fucking sick!” she curses, to which he responds with a cackle and making use of her temporarily opened mouth delve his tongue between her teeth. She whimpers and the hand clutching the quinque shakes, both pushing towards him but begging to be dropped and for hands to fist into his cloak to pull him close. She breathes angrily through her nose, desperate to ignore the scent and taste, but teeth biting down to maintain some form of control over their pace.

 

Her feeble attempts to hurt him that way made the Ghoul chuckle.

 

Again, Seidou pulls himself away from her mouth and lets his tongue drag against her lower lip, then to her jaw, leaving a sticky pink trail against her skin. 

 

** I repeat, Associate Special Class Mado disclose your position. over. **

 

Seidou growls loudly, he hears the clang of metal hitting the ground before a hand knocks against his jaw. He doesnt really notice whats happening before he hears a tear, and the subtle rattle of plastic and chord, Akira had ripped the communication device from her shirt collar and let it fall somewhere at their feet, not only that, but shes even dropped the quinque from between them.

 

_ She doesnt want interruptions, kehehe. _

 

He gives her something that he can only really describe as...  _a look._ A look that says 'i know what youre thinking' in the most shaming way possible. The look she sends back is bashful, followed by a muttered excuse of "It was just..annoying, thats all"

 

Takizawa finds this humorous, very much so, and lets himself chuckle before setting back to work. Mouth skittering along the fine lines of her jaw and the pronounced tendons of her neck, his teeth eager to push beyond his devious nips and delve so deep into her flesh he might never detach. Just the taste of the salt of her sweat was enough to intoxicate him, after six days of being away he had nearly forgotten how alluring her very presence had been.

 

Mado helps him remove her body armour, the thick woven fabric plates falling into the dirt and blood around them, something she'd have difficulty explaining to her superiors when they regrouped, but the way Takizawa pressed against her was dizzying and the thought slipped through her fingers like the mans tangled hair when she pulled his head closer to her exposed flesh. His nimble, yet trembling, fingers skittered at the collar of her dress shirt and one by one popped the buttons and left the stitches stained in a muddy crimson, every inch of skin revealed fell prey to his greedy mouth.

 

_ shes delicious! delicious! what did her blood taste like? what do her lips taste like again? or the soft meat of her thighs, have i ever had a bite? a nibble? just a nibble just a nibble just a nibble consume her! ~~break her~~ this is all mine! Mado is all mine! ~~Fucking devour her~~ _

 

The ghoul whimpers before his jaw catches, clenches, and feels blood flood his mouth along with the hissed cry of his  _treat_. "Takizawa stop!" Akira urges, her palms flat on his shoulders with gentle pushes because to force him away would hurt so much more, she can feel his teeth worrying at her collarbone in a gentle grating fashion. Hes holding fast and Akira panics, so she plants her opposing hand on his forehead and wrenches his head back, making him loose footing and fall to his knees with a shred of bloodied  _meat_ hanging from between his teeth.

 

They stare eachother down, both panting, both tense, Seidou's vibrant eyes wide like a begging dog while akiras scan his body for any signs of an impending attack.

 

_he is violent_. she reminds herself  _unpredictable, a ghoul, a threat._  


 

"A...Aki.." There is an almost  _pitiful_ whine that croaked out of Seidou's throat, and when they locked eyes again she'd noticed hes swallowed her flesh and was licking her residual blood off his lips, or moreover  _smearing it_ around his mouth more with a bloodier tongue. The ghoul shuffles forward slightly, dragging knees against concrete and grime, to bring himself into contact with Akira's body once more. He trails his hands up the backs of her calves, slow and precise in the pressure applied, a little rough at the backs of her knees as if he wanted her to buckle, then further up till his fingertips dug into her thighs and lingered at the hem of her skirt.

 

His face was at navel height, and one of his curious hands leaves her leg to finish his work of unbuttoning her blouse before he began teasingly pulling the zip of her skirt, and letting his tongue wonder her newly exposed torso. The other hand sneaks in, simply massaging the skin beneath her tights at the apex of her thighs, just centimetres away from where she needed his touch most.

 

_ Aah, such a delightful scent, HONEY! ITS HONEY! shes dripping onto my hand, this queen bee, making this just for me to d e v o u r _

 

Akira feels, if anything, overwhelmed, her hands barely finding purchase with one against the brick wall behind her and one nested in Seidou's matted locks. Her skin is alight with something exciting and terrifying all at one, she chalked it up to just the knowledge that shes letting a Ghoul's hungry mouth this close to her body without any form of defence. But this particular ghoul, she has no doubts, wants something other than to _eat her alive._ That is... unless shes willing to allow an analogy. 

"Akira~" The ghoul cooes, drawing the attention of the Investigator "You trust me, no?"

 

_ what kind of a question is that... of course i do  ~~n't~~ _

 

She nods shakily at him, not entirely sure or unsure of what he needed the confirmation for before he dragged his nails down her thighs, tearing through both her tights and skin with a wicked grin splayed on his lips as soon as her resounding gasp echoed off the brick walls. The burst of pain made her knees weak momentarily till Takizawa's tongue lapped up the blood and soothed the shallow wounds, the higher his tongue trailed the more laboured her breath and the more tiny breathless moans threatened to pass her clenched teeth.

 

Seidou pushed Mado's skirt up her thighs roughly, tights further ripping into tiny ladders, and exposing more and more untouched skin to his eyes till his target was found, the source of his  _honey_ , the delectable sweet scent that filled his nose and dizzied him. He was visibly salivating, shaking even, breaths that stuttered between his ribs from his sheer excitement, he could feel Akira's trembling hands against the back of his skull gently pushing because  _of course she'd want this too_.

 

He pressed his face between her thighs and almost sighed from relief, breathing in deeply, desperate to smother himself in her scent, he'd been waiting  _too long_ for this. Akira moaned aloud above him and tightened her hand in his hair as if to say "just get on with it", and he eagerly complied. Takizawa mouthed at Akira's clothed sex, tongue dragging on the wet fabric and coating his tastebuds in her fluids.

 

It was unlike anything he had ever consumed before, he was lost for words as to how magnificent it tasted, but it was an ambrosia reserved _only for him._ He'd be damned if he let a single drop go to waste.

 

"Fuh...Fuck! Seidou" Akira is breathless, gently rocking her hips. She felt like she was on fire, her cheeks burned, the sting of fresh cuts and teeth marks, the way his nails seemed to sink deeper and deeper into her hip bones the more excited he got, or how his tongue pressed so close but not close enough against the fabric of her panties. She was desperate for the contact. "please... seidou your... y-you can put.. it in" Shes not even too sure what shes trying to say because the words catch in her throat in embarrassment that catches another moan.

 

As the woman looks down she sees Seidou's eyes staring straight up at her, both his red and pale brown pupil dilated and boring deeply into her own. She watched as the ghoul's hands traced down her sides oh so slowly till they hooked in the sides of her panties and slowly pulled them down. Mado almost didnt have the patience, "just tear them off" she wanted to demand "just fuck me already" but he took his time, savouring one last pass of his tongue to assure he'd gotten all he could from the soaked cloth. With a quick flick of his hand the side tore and the remaining fabric fell down the opposite leg, she saw the white fabric now pink out of the corner of her eye.

 

Before she could voice her concern Takizawa was back in his original place and the sensations tripled in intensity, she gasped and a hand barely made it to her mouth when a long moan fell past her lips. It was  _amazing_ , nothing she had done to herself could compare to this mans hungry mouth, the wet sounds and his panting and unrestrained groans, he was simply animalistic and shameless, and giving her more pleasure than she'd experienced in this lifetime.

 

His tongue varied, passing over her clit with a rough force that made her knees tremble before dipping inside her as deeply as he could, desperate to taste more of her essence. 

 

_ This is really it! oh god, oh god, its amazing, shes all mine! My Akira, those sounds you make, your sweet sweet nectar, these are all for me. _

 

"I-Im so.. close, Taki! please I'm so close" Akira moaned out between her fingers, Takizawas eyes flickered open for a moment to watch her. The sensual image of her rolling her hips towards him, her mouth open and panting, eyes teary and unfocused on anything but him, and that  _beautiful chorale of moans_ will surely plague his mind for days to follow, he commits these images to his memory. For now he will be satisfied with her pleasure.

 

The ghoul doubles his efforts, focusing on the bundle of nerves that makes her shiver and hitch her breath, Akira's taken to biting her knuckle in an attempt to stifle herself as her moans raise in volume and pitch. Its quick, but like a firework going off, Seidou watches Mado's whole body shudder and a drawn out cry of his name rings around his ears and sets his body alight, He greedily drinks up what he can as her fluids drip out of her before she becomes too weak to stand and collapses on her knees in front of him.

 

She rests against him for what feels like hours, panting, feeling the cold night air against her sweat soaked skin. She feels sticky, much too warm, but the pleasant tingle that vibrated to her fingertips left her complacent till the man shook her by the shoulders.

"oi, Mado, dont fall asleep on me"

 

Her bleary eyes blink up at him, a little unfocused, but able to make out the shape of his messy white hair. "Taki..." she begins before he interrupts her

 

"come on, lets get you presentable, your recovery crew should be here any minute now"

 

_dont ruin this moment please, let us stay like this even for a minute longer, Hes so warm, hes here and hes alive. Hes so so warm..._  


 

* * *

 

 

It doesnt take long, the limited effort put in by the two of them, one numb from a fading orgasm and the other as tightly coiled as he'd ever been. In the end, Akira looks like she'd been in a hell of a fight, and surely one she'd have to explain to her superiors, but at this current state she could hardly care, she will make up something when she comes to her senses.

Takizawa leaves her with a chaste kiss on the lips, Ironic as it was, and promised 'four days' before his expected return to her home.

 

* * *

**...Special Slass Tanakamaru, we've just gotten into contact with Associate Special Class Mado, Shes made her way to our location at the 3rd roadblock, apparently her communicator was broken in a fight **

 

** Thank you, boy, how's she faring? **

 

**... we dont... quite know sir. She seems fine but.. Her injuries are abnormal, you might want to have a check for yourself before we head back to the medical ward. **

 

** Abnormal you say? **

 

** Theres... a lot of blood on her inner thighs sir.... **

****

**... **

 

** S-Special cla-? **

 

** Have her taken to the medical ward _immedietly!_ **

 

** Yes sir! Right away! **

 

The line cuts to a fading buzz that lingers in his ear. But the pit that weighs in Mougan's stomach is unshakable, he feels his sweat chill against his skin, and an undying rage swell up inside himself. _Whoever has hurt Akira... they were going to pay for what they had done_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUNNNN  
> LOOK AT ME PAVING THE WAY FOR MORE DRAMAAAAAAA
> 
> again, dont kill me please. i beg of you.


End file.
